I bet you quiver with fear when you see a parcel from Amazon arriving

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 9:39, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

All the books thrown have been mine
The wife gets all her shit mills and boon book off her mum and then bins them. My library is extensive and mostly hardback. Much more painful. I think I could handle a few trashy paperbacks.
( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 9:44, Reply)

she's readintg mills and boon and won't put out?
Have you tried dressing like a pirate or prince or some shit? call it LARP sex
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 9:45, Reply)

I take the piss out of her books all the time
I claim to be able to write ten a week buy taking one book, crossing out any instance of the word prince and changing it to sultan/egyptian/american etc etc, other than that they are the same basic story, Man and woman meet, man and woman fuck, man and woman break up, woman discovers she is pregnant, man declares love for woman and they get back together. Only the names, jobs/titles and locations change.
( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 9:51, Reply)

they are written at "writing camps" in about a week
true facts
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 9:52, Reply)

This surprises me
said nobody ever.
( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 9:54, Reply)

+ battered + shotgun + kilburn high road

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 9:54, Reply)

Margery swooned as Battered waltzed in to the room and cast his shotgun aside, his latest kill flung over his shoulder.
"Kiss me!" she exclaimed. "Hang on love" he replied, "I'll just go and fetch a stepladder"
( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 9:56, Reply)

Git.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 9:57, Reply)

the shotgun is the vital plot device that leads to happy couples nuptials at the chapter climax

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 9:57, Reply)

As Margery wailed and tears flowed down her cheeks, relieved that it was finally over Battered pulled the trigger.
*click* "See it wasn't even loaded you daft bitch"
( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 10:08, Reply)