The Stephen & Tiddles Adventures (for Pavlov)
Int. Hotel Corridor - North End. Night. Wide Shot.

A MYSTERY MAN in an overcoat, hat pulled down low enough to hide all of his face save his mouth and jaw presses himself to a wall. He seems to be peering behind himself, down the corridor, nervously. As he stands there a single drop of sweat tracks down his cheeks and drops onto his coat unnoticed. At the sound of an electric motor he looks around wildly.

CUT TO:
Int. Hotel Corridor - South End. Night. Two Shot.

We're looking at the scene from the opposite end. Two wheelchairs, one normal sized, the other much smaller, a pair of fluffly ears just poking over the top of the backrest. A ginger tail drags limply behind. Framed between them we see our MYSTERY MAN at the other end of the corridor as he quickly takes off round the corner in panic.

CUT TO:
Int. Hotel Corridor - South End. Night. Close up on STEPHEN HAWKING

STEPHEN starts blinking rapidly.

Stephen(computerised): "Quick Tiddles, the murderer went round that corner!"

CUT TO:
Int. Hotel Corridor - South End. Night. Close up on TIDDLES

TIDDLES' head lolls towards STEPHEN. When it comes to a sudden halt, by hitting his own shoulder, a thin string of drool emerges from the cat's mouth and hangs there. TIDDLES lazily blinks once.

Tiddles(computerised): "Meow."

CUT TO:
Int. Hotel Corridor - South End. Night. Two shot of STEPHEN and TIDDLES

STEPHEN blinks once. With conviction.

Stephen(computerised): "Let's ROCK!"

With a slightly higher pitched hum from the electric motors, both wheelchairs shudder as their tires spin impotently on the carpet for a moment, smoke pouring from them. Moments later they slowly shoot off towards the camera.

CUT TO:
Int. Hotel Corridor - Corner. Night. Wide Shot.
Again we see the two wheelchairs from behind but from this angle, right in front of them is the start of a massive staircase which, as we watch, we see the MYSTERY MAN bound up the final two to disappear from our shot.

Stephen(computerised): Wank!

CUT TO:
Int. Hotel Corridor - Corner. Night. Two Shot - Front of STEPHEN and TIDDLES.

STEPHEN blinks rapidly, his pupils darting around like Neo's hands when he fights in The Matrix (and not at the start where he's all shite but near the end when he's like a god and stuff).

Stephen(computerised): "It's time."

With a little more blinking an audible CLICK is heard. A panel on the armrest of STEPHEN's wheelchair opens and a tiny ball of light slowly rises upwards to head height. As we watch undulating streamers of light spread from the ball. A whooshing noise begins, quiet at first but slowly louder. TIDDLES' fur ruffles and STEPHEN's immaculate hair is blown by an unseen wind towards the ball.

Stephen(computerised - His speaker turned up a bit to hear over whoosh effect): "IT'S WORKING!"

Scraps of paper and dust fly from all angles of the HOTEL CORRIDOR and are sucked in the growing ball of light. As the whooshing noise reaches deafening levels the images of STEPHEN and TIDDLES bend towards the ball.

With a thunderclap crescendo the MIDSHOT flashes brilliant white then instantly CUT TO black as everything is pulled into the supernova.

BLACK/SILENCE. Seconds pass. Just when it seems that everything has been reduced to the size of an atom and destroyed:

TIDDLES(computerised - voice over): "Meow?"

Captions - "The End?"

__________________________________________________________________

EDIT: Hands up who thinks I need to get out more. Anyway, only started this post so I had an excuse to post this; check out the new sig. Sorry if anyone's gazzed me recently and I haven't had time to reply yet. Things are a bit hectic and I've got to go away for a while (I might stick my head round the corner if there's a really excellent question tho, natch). Take care y'all. See you soon. I hope.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 10:58, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Made. Of. Win.
Good luck matey... Catch you on the other side! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 11:01, Reply)

That is genius!
*applauds wildly*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 11:03, Reply)

Bye!
*Sticks hand up*
( girlinthehole, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 11:49, Reply)

This is fuckin' amazing!
*clicks*
Best thing on the Off-Topic board so far.
( Cawl, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 13:52, Reply)

You, sir, are a genius
It's almost exactly how I imagined it - right down to the thin line of drool hanging from the cat's mouth. Utterly brilliant! My balls are indeed full of glee at this moment in time.

Nice one mate
(Pavlov's Frog figures no-one really reads sigs anyway, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 17:36, Reply)

Now make it into
a cartoon short for youtube greatness :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 19:07, Reply)

^^
This

Surely we can get someone from /board to animate it for us?
(Pavlov's Frog figures no-one really reads sigs anyway, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 19:12, Reply)

.
Now, add Schrödinger and his cat and you're on to a winner!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:19, Reply)

Oh boy
I'm supposed to get on with some work now!

Excellent stuff Mr Balls!

Hope you can pop back regularly and things work out ok for you. If you can't access b3ta at your library, use the backdoor:

www3.barnesy.org/questions/

Access all areas.

Keep in touch,
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 9:26, Reply)