Can we have three substandard threads on the trot. .....
We can!

No question.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:26, 82 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I think suspended coffee is a nice idea, not going to really change the lives of homeless people though is it.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:27, Reply)

Not compared with the good done by the sums spent on it being given to a homeless charity eh.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:30, Reply)

All homeless charities are run and staffed by pricks who probably steal the donations.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:33, Reply)

Hasn't Battered volunteered for homeless charities?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:41, Reply)

That's the joke.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Ah yeah
Very good.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:45, Reply)

Recently been appointed as a Trustee of a charity that works with the vulnerably housed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:45, Reply)

Like the 3 Little Pigs?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:47, Reply)

The mentally ill, ex-offenders, kids kicked out of the social care system etc.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:52, Reply)

This is actually something I'd like to do.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 10:10, Reply)

Hey Chompy
I made 5 and a half gallons of wine last night!
( Peej, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:32, Reply)

this just sounds like puddle party slang

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:33, Reply)

If you read back through PJ's posts you'll find that nearly all of them contain thinly disguised puddle party slang.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:35, Reply)

Psyche!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:39, Reply)

Fucks sake - that was a new mic.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Whooo hooo
I was going to bottle 36 pints of cider, but I got distracted by trying to get media streaming working on my new TV. I'll have to do it tonight.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:34, Reply)

well that'll be me sorted for 3 nights. I'll gaz you my address so you know where to deliver to.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:36, Reply)

This was an offer for your "come for a meal with me" thread.
But I don't think you were paying attention.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:38, Reply)

He was too pissed.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:38, Reply)

Isn't your subject line a question?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:29, Reply)

I see no question mark

( Peej, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:30, Reply)

You're gonna cry, cry, cry, cry 96 tears

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:32, Reply)

I love that record.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:32, Reply)

Me too.
I lucked upon an original in a market in Barnsley, of all places, for £1.50
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:34, Reply)

In Barnsley that £1.50 could have bought you a house.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:37, Reply)

I think I made the right choice.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:37, Reply)

i genuinely read that as 'horse'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:42, Reply)

I still think it is a question.
Even if it was a rhetorical question*, it would still be a question.

*I don't think it is, seeing as how he answered it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:33, Reply)

My sister told me to put Adventure time on for my kids
I am now addicted to it. Its warped.
( Peej, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:29, Reply)

Gronda Gronda.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:35, Reply)

Well this is certainly an improvement on the chicken facts thread last week.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:31, Reply)

The average chicken is 4.6 meters tall

( Peej, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:32, Reply)

SAVE THEM TIL CHICKEN THURSDAY!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:33, Reply)

We need another threadrush Thursday. I really enjoyed that.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:35, Reply)

I read your 'no question' in the style of Tim Westwood.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:37, Reply)

He made me laugh once.
When he got shot.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:38, Reply)

He's made me crack up hundreds of times.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:38, Reply)

The man is a genius

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:44, Reply)

If you could buy a Westwood-voiced sat nav I would buy one,
rig it up to a 'wog box' and walk about the streets with it on full blast.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:41, Reply)

Is a wog box
Louder than a Rasta Blaster?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Hmmm, I'm not sure.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:44, Reply)

The echo coming from Floella Benjamin’s growler would be deafening

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:45, Reply)

Where is the Brixton Briefcase on the scale?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:46, Reply)

hahahaha fucking hell I've not heard that in years

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:53, Reply)

I assumed that you read everything in the style of Tim Westwood - white, middle-class, middle-aged, acting like a black, urban yout'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:40, Reply)

I assume you read everything in the style of Noddy Holder.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:41, Reply)

The Coventry accent isn't even as pleasant as the yam yams'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:47, Reply)

Isn't he the son of a bishop or something?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Yup.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Transcript of a radio conversation between him & Zane Lowe
Tim: ...what do you play at your parties?
Zane: ...it's everything. It's covering all the different genre's that you guy's, you know, expertly deliver, individually and specifically. We're lucky, we get to sneak in to your record boxes every single day and steal only the finest cuts.
Tim: Yeah, I'm with it, I'm with it.
Zane: Then we marinade it, we fry 'em up, we put 'em on a platter, and we all have a big buffet.
Tim: I like your style.
Zane: It's year's of dropping rhymes, Tim. I'm all about the metaphor.
Tim: Exactly, its a smorgasbord, of flavour.
Zane: You're on the smorgasbord man, you are on the smorgasbord.
Tim: Exactly, its selected cheeses, with some biscuits.
Zane: Man, I'm rockin' some mature cheddar right now, I got the finest Feta from France in my back pocket, I'm rockin' a little goats cheese. I mean, I've even got Roquefort, Roquefort in my record box right now.
Tim: Your cheese game is strong.
Zane: My cheese game. It's all about the cheese platter.
Tim: I love how you are getting down in your little buffet of savoury deserts.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:51, Reply)

How can anyone not find that hilarious?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:53, Reply)

It's fucking brilliant.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Zane Lowe is ace

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:53, Reply)

A pal of mine met him
and was gutted to report that he is really sounds and knows a lot about music.

So basically, the anti-Christian O'Connell.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:54, Reply)

He comes across as an utter prick.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:58, Reply)

Who 'The OC' or Lowe?
I would have put good money on the fact that Lowe was a wanker but my pal swears not and he's a reliable fellow.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 10:09, Reply)

ZANE LOWE AND HIS UNNECESSARY SHOUTING STYLE OF RADIO PRESENTING COUPLED WITH IRRITATING SYCOPHANCY FOR BORING CUNTS LIKE DAVE GROHL

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 10:10, Reply)

Who are these 'Tim Westwood' and 'Zane Lowe' of whom you speak?
It sounds like they're rough boys from the estate - I don't want you mixing with them!*

*see what I did there?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 10:13, Reply)

New shoes.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Can't wait.
80s lolz.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:43, Reply)

I have a soft spot for that tune.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:43, Reply)

The crotch on my jeans is wearing out

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:46, Reply)

My jeans always go at the crotch first.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:52, Reply)

I knew you would understand, i believe this is an issue with haveing trousers on the "slim" side

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:55, Reply)

nah its faecal and urea matter 'eating' through material cos you don't wipe your arse properly

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:58, Reply)

I may have a side arse, but it's definately not around the front

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:58, Reply)

i'm pretty sure it's still in the crotch area
hth
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:59, Reply)

Nah the crotch is the join of two things inc tree branches.
Don't know about you paddies but my anus is a bit further up than that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 10:12, Reply)

ME TOO!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Morning Jeff
I think the only thing keeping me sane at the moment is the fact I have tickets to the Rugby on Sunday, and thanks to slow sales, have had an upgrade to the stand right on the centre line. I'm going to drink until I pass out.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:46, Reply)

Good morning
I spent last evening with M*nolith and ate too much 'american hot' pizza. I'm worried I might be getting old.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 10:05, Reply)

Hi guys!!!!!
I'm forty in September. I am 100% definitely getting old.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 10:10, Reply)

Hey Montz
I ate about 3 slices of this stuff that was COVERED in jalapenos....and I'm suffering. My stomach feels like it's been kicked. Sad times :(
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 10:11, Reply)

I have an iron constitution when it comes to chillies.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 10:12, Reply)

Thing is, I've only been 'into' them for about 5 years or so
I never liked them before. So I guess I'm making up for lost time and eating as many as I can...with hilarious results!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 10:13, Reply)

You're a good sort, TH.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 10:16, Reply)

Fanks Montz
I do what I can.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 10:17, Reply)

This is worth a read
www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1byn1l/i_was_mauled_by_a_bear_fought_it_off_and_drove_4/
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 9:53, Reply)

I'm sorry I don't *do* reddit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 10:09, Reply)

I simply don't geddit.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 10:11, Reply)

Dr who?
You just seddit!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 10:12, Reply)

I've started a new thread.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 10:12, Reply)