God damn it, the entire world is against me.
Not only did I get gout (thankfully I've now shifted that), but this morning a bit of heat shield dropped off my car. That's alright, no big deal. HOWEVER, it made building security suddenly aware that my swipe card doesn't register me entering or leaving the building, it just lets me in. Now I've had my magic card taken off me to be replaced with a normal mundane card that won't let me in after 8pm to have a wee after the pub :(

Six years of secret work wees GONE. No longer am I an off-the-grid secret office ninja, I'm now just some pleb like all of you cunts. How has the world worked against you recently?

Yeah, things have got that bad. Two Kroney threads in one month, you poor, poor bastards. What else has gotten worse than you could possibly imagine?
( Kroney, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:40, 84 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

check em

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:42, Reply)

haha yeah

( Kroney, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:45, Reply)

christ i'm sick of that shit
and i know that's the point

but christ i'm sick of that shit
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:49, Reply)

UPSET

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:04, Reply)

*monkey gif*

( Kroney, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:12, Reply)

haha, yeah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:18, Reply)

Poor Frank
I really hope he hasn't finally....y'know....*makes noose gesture*
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:22, Reply)

Whoah section 'em

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:29, Reply)

fial

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 18:17, Reply)

Jimmy Hill to this.
Like yeah, you drive to work in the Space Shuttle.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:47, Reply)

Sadship Enterprise.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:48, Reply)

I feel I've learnt something new about you, this will make us closer.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:48, Reply)

Surely we must be practically bros by now
what with all the stuff you know about me, and all the stuff I know about you.
( Kroney, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:00, Reply)

When will you, will you be famous!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:03, Reply)

woah, if this was one of those wop filums that would look like a threat of some kind

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:05, Reply)

Yeah I can go into my office whenever I want

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:48, Reply)

you know your brown bobbly cardigran?
yeah, even that's better than this thread
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:49, Reply)

I thought it was a a browny-green?
Like an old bogey
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:51, Reply)

no, it was just brown, i think
that was enough. but hopefully his wife will buy his clothes going forward, because he's not a bad looking old tart, underneath the mouldy wool
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:55, Reply)

Yeah, very handsome.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:56, Reply)

Gay

( Kroney, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:59, Reply)

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:00, Reply)

I'm on the lookout for a new sartorial statement to wear to the next one.

( Kroney, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:03, Reply)

Clip-on bow ties are the future m8 *taps nose*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:19, Reply)

She is just as much my wife as your hair is ginger.

( Kroney, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:01, Reply)

Congratulations!
Where did you honeymoon?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:03, Reply)

Someone is upset
www.b3ta.com/questions/bugs_and_feature_requests/post1934268
(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:52, Reply)

I read that twice, and I'm still not entirely sure what it means

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:56, Reply)

I think it means someone is UPSET

(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:58, Reply)

Aha
GOTCHA!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:00, Reply)

It means RWH is bleeding from his mangina

( Kroney, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:59, Reply)

He deffo needs a kick in the mancunt.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:00, Reply)

That's a pity

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:00, Reply)

24 hour access right here.
I am THAT important.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:56, Reply)

I had 24 hour SECRET access.
You ain't that important.
( Kroney, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:58, Reply)

ILLEGAL access.
You are a common sneakthief.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:59, Reply)

It was totes legal, I had a card and that.
Wish I'd known I was flying under the radar, though. They've got some sweet gear in this office.
( Kroney, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:10, Reply)

Most of our buildings are keys so untracked
and I've got an unlogged access card for all my labs and there's fucking hundreds of millions of quids worth of gear lying about the place unlocked.

Shit, I probably shouldn't have admitted that online. there goes the badger retirement plan.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:41, Reply)

I noes where u duz science

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:43, Reply)

It's not hard to work out.
Apart from anything else if you search my NO REAL NAMES ONLINE MOD EDIT you'll find nothing but me for the first three pages of google results and most of them link to my place of employement in one way or another.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:45, Reply)

r a e
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:11, Reply)

tl:dr IMPOTENT

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:11, Reply)

Oh em gee
Bou is back on /talk
(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:01, Reply)

Oh what?
Seriously, they unban South Africa and BANG, like a greyhound out the gates.
( Kroney, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:02, Reply)

bzzZZzzzZzz
                                                                                                                                           
(bou bees, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:03, Reply)

Please don't do that. It's irritating the fuck out of me.
Thank you.
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 19:59, Reply)

Your English.
'gotten'???? FFS
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:05, Reply)

You know, even though it's only used in American English, it's not actually an Americanism.
Middle English bitch. And I'm on a one man mission to bring it the hell back.
( Kroney, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:07, Reply)

Many so-called 'wrong American' words and spellings are technically purer Engllish than thatte wot we speke.
However, used today by an Englishman (or even a French prick) they sound frightful, SO STOP IT
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:10, Reply)

SHAN'T
IT'S ALLOWED
( Kroney, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:11, Reply)

I'm afraid it isn't. Sozz-o.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:12, Reply)

I'm being forced to actually apply for jobs for the first time in years,
rather than getting reccomended, or head hunted by other pubs and restaurants. Lame. Stupid covering letter bollocks.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:29, Reply)

You quitting your job then?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:32, Reply)

Yeah what happened?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:33, Reply)

Also I'm getting to this job hunting stage as well, it's miserable

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:35, Reply)

Hey, you could be my butler
I'll not lie...the wages are not good, and I'm a horrible boss. Interested?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:33, Reply)

It might be worth listing your concerns and what's fucking you off
and presenting them to your immediate superior, to give him a chance to retain you by dealing with things rather than just walking? Chances are they won't do it but then you will at least have made it clear what you are pissed off about.

It happens a lot that people walk out on jobs having seethed in secret when their bosses hadn't a clue. May well not be relevant here so tell me to fuck off by all means.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:35, Reply)

Fuck off!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:36, Reply)

haha, yeah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:37, Reply)

Fuck off

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:36, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1935619
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:37, Reply)

Shut up Monty...I want him to buttle the SHIT out of me!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:37, Reply)

If this had been a month ago I would have known of a job he could have applied for :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:38, Reply)

haha you want your shit buttled.
That sounds rude teeheehee
( Kroney, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:39, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1935617
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:40, Reply)

Oh my god, it does an' all!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:40, Reply)

yeah,
i have made a bit of a fuss, but so far, nothing, a lot of empty promises.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Apr 2013, 18:01, Reply)

What's up, Winders?
I thought your pub was doing well?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:39, Reply)

Too many bodies man, too many bodies

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:39, Reply)

I thought that was a different pub.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:40, Reply)

Yeah it was, I dunno what's going on
I guess windy has gone for a little lie down
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:42, Reply)

Is this Nakers?
I'm losing track, man.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:42, Reply)

Oily muscles from Brussels massage?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:43, Reply)

no ta, I'm trying to give them up.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:50, Reply)

it's a shit beer.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:48, Reply)

hee hee!
Got a new contract sorted?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:49, Reply)

Should be sorted 'til at least July
And there are a few other people making noises about using me, so I'm quite relaxed about the situation. If really busy at the moment.

I need a holiday.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:53, Reply)

well that sounds good. No I mean bad. Do I mean good?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 18:23, Reply)

Covering letters are the stupidest thing
YOU ALREADY HAVE MY CV YOU CUNTS
( Kroney, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:39, Reply)

But I want to know the real you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:41, Reply)

Winders will be fine
He's only got to say "I wasn't the one that didn't notice a corpse in the pub shitter" and he's already a nose ahead of the other Oxford publican who's currently job-hunting.
( Kroney, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:46, Reply)

haha yeah, "gotten", like they say in America
hahahahaha

yeah
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:51, Reply)

woah check 'em

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:51, Reply)

I don't care what the others say, Frank
I'm GLAD you're not dead.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 17:52, Reply)