but you don't promise that, do you?
you promise to stick together through all the changes. but for some people, that doesn't happen. perhaps because one has been a selfish cunt, perhaps both, as you say. but other times it's because feelings just change, or something outside your control changes.

my dad's first marriage ended because they both wanted different things after about 10 years together. he was starting to get a string of promotions, and the bank wanted to move him to london. he wanted that lifestyle for his family and himself, and was willing to work killer hours for it so that his wife didn't have to work at all. but she flatly refused to leave the tiny village where they'd both grown up, even though it would have meant killing his career, because she had all her friends and family there. i don't really think you could call either of them selfish, could you? their wants just changed, and they didn't grow together.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 11:56, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

This is why I brutally murdered my ex.
I wanted her to stop shagging someone else; she didn't. The end.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 29 Apr 2013, 11:58, Reply)

yeah, i think that might fall more in the selfish cunt category
luckily you excelled yourself second time around
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 11:59, Reply)

First time was a practice run, weren't it?
I was too young the first time round, really.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 29 Apr 2013, 12:03, Reply)

Part of it is that sometimes you have to accept that you can't have everything you want
because to do so is unfair in some way on the other party.
This doesn't just apply to married people, either.
I think in general people are becoming more selfish - even in little things like the way they drive, or even walk.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 12:04, Reply)