You know you want it. You know it. Dirty.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGESxjqHf7E
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 17:35, 79 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Well if it was good enough for Kenny Everett, I'm in.
Mind you this attitude has got me into trouble in the past.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 17:39, Reply)

My dad used to sing this to us when he was pissed and I was convinced he'd made it up until Our Kenny played it.
It's fucking genius.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 17:41, Reply)

I can't watch youtube here.
So, I'll learn more about prisoners being skivers with their free TVs
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 17:41, Reply)

Anything involving free TVs, you're all up in that shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 17:43, Reply)

Defo blud

(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 17:43, Reply)

That doesn't sound very fair on the transvestites.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 17:45, Reply)

I'm too busy looking at lolcats, soz

( Kroney, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 17:42, Reply)

I have no way of accessing the internet, soz

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 17:46, Reply)

I heard Nakers prints out the whole internet every time he wants to see something online.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 17:46, Reply)

Dot matrix lols

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 17:57, Reply)

I heard that Psychochomp gets me mixed up with Nakers.
This is a terrible insult, considering Nakers is likeable, funny, successful and in a happy, monogamous relationship with a woman who doesn't (as far as we know) make a 'living' from the sex industry.

I'm cut real bad :'(
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 17:57, Reply)

I guess it depends on which side of that particular mix-up you happen to be on.

( Kroney, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:00, Reply)

I just feel sorry for Nakers.
Cursed by nature, cursed by comparison.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:05, Reply)

I get you two mixed up because you both post butt hurt replies on here.
like this www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1949331
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:06, Reply)

I dunno like, I'd call posting pictures of other board users as replies to every post on the populol page, then getting stepped for it
Pretty life fail really, especially as you were one of the shirkers crying to B3th about pictures being posted in the first place.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:23, Reply)

Butt hurt?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:40, Reply)

it means getting excessively upset about minor things on the internet.
Maybe it's just my keen eye for copy and my skills in interpretation, but I read that post of yours as light hearted, with the purpose to amuse and gently mock.

Apparently it was very aggressive, and a result of being on the receiving end of a major zing from the master of the 'witty post'.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:44, Reply)

God who gives a shit
I'm pretty sure aside from spotters I'm probably the least upset person on ot
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:47, Reply)

spotters?
Edit: sporters.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:50, Reply)

Yeah him, he's like a big silly dog

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:54, Reply)

his kryptonite is mentioning his moribund career and how he's been passed over for promotion on several occasions and lacks any significant pay rises like at all

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:57, Reply)

don't say it was me who told you

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:01, Reply)

no-one will ever know.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:03, Reply)

This is most unfortunate as most of life has been transplanted into the virtual realm and people without access to the internet are becoming increasingly marginalised and disenfranchised.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 17:47, Reply)

Also it's considerably easier to find old VHS home videos of Germans taking dirty wet dumps onto one another.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 17:48, Reply)

I made the train \o/ and its a direct one \o/
I'll now be home just in time to miss mini ape and get back to work, good times.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 17:56, Reply)

I think you should probably use the journey to consider where you went wrong with your life choices.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 17:58, Reply)

I think you should probaby jump onto the track in the path of the 5:42 to Doncaster

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:00, Reply)

I heard that you're a dreadful old queen.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:05, Reply)

I heard he's starring in a new sit com on itv

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:41, Reply)

Good for you mate

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:12, Reply)

You and me mate, keeping this sinking economy going

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:41, Reply)

er
HELLO?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:04, Reply)

to be fair, I've been doing my bit too.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:12, Reply)

Deffo you mate, we'd all be under the trains otherwise.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:15, Reply)

it's May morning tomorrow, wonder if any stupid cunts will try and jump this year.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:25, Reply)

there is a bloody mayday march going past my office tomorrow
crusties
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:50, Reply)

I do what I can.
But I'm not always around.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:15, Reply)

I've got another dj slot after the last one got cancelled.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:23, Reply)

just don't kill anybody this time, yeah?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:26, Reply)

I'm not promising anything.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:32, Reply)

Hi?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:14, Reply)

Are you supposed to offer dwarves your seat on the train?
One just got on an he looks a bit grumpy
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:44, Reply)

let Battered sit down, he's had a tough week.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 18:45, Reply)

no.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:11, Reply)

I'm so glad it's always dead on here in the evenings when I'm stuck at work and bored and in need of entertainment.

( Kroney, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:37, Reply)

Haha j/k it sucks.

( Kroney, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:37, Reply)

Sarcasm makes me feel uncomfortable.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:51, Reply)

oh relly?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:15, Reply)

I'm here for you Kroney, I too am at work
Ask me anything, anything at all
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:44, Reply)

you've blown it kroney big time, you me its over

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:48, Reply)

er
what did he blow, exactly?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 19:50, Reply)

Oh, sorry. Did you miss the bit where I said I was at work?
I'm working, btw.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:00, Reply)

i think you're making the mistake people so often make with rory
which is to think that he gives any sort of a fuck
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:01, Reply)

I'm not working, really.
Trying to send a 58kb picture to og. Won't send by text. Won't send by FB. Both time out. 58kb. FML.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:06, Reply)

I'm working...











my cock into your mum
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:08, Reply)

That's progress for you.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:19, Reply)

he probably just needs a longer cable

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:19, Reply)

Fucking right.
I'm only sending from the UK HQ of a multinational. You'd think they'd have slightly more bandwidth than my room at university in 1998 but nope, apparently not.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:22, Reply)

is it a picture of the post earlier when you said you were single?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:22, Reply)

NO TALK NO COMMITMENT
Anyway, it's a picture of her and her uni mates. Nothing couple-y there.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:24, Reply)

b3tards

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:25, Reply)

i'm trying to find a nice blonde wig because it's easier than dyeing it
fuck me there's some horrific wigs out there
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:23, Reply)

...

( Kroney, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:24, Reply)

yes?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:26, Reply)

Why are you looking for a blonde wig?

( Kroney, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:27, Reply)

going to a particular event
thought it would be funny. problem is, i don't want a £5 tacky fancy dress one, and anything that looks ok-ish is about £300. which is a lot of money for a joke.

so i figure i'll try it out. if it actually looks ok, then fine i'll spend the cash, and actually wear it. if it looks shit, i'll ditch the idea!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:28, Reply)

Oh, is it boat rave time again?
Or whatever it is you dress up like a spastic to go to?
( Kroney, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:29, Reply)

no, boat raves are july and september

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:30, Reply)

I see.
I shall try to remember that in order to avoid any such embarrassing mix-ups again.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:31, Reply)

Just be careful.
Just because you won't appear to be ginger, you'll still burn if there is even a hint of sunshine.

I believe that's how it works. Ginger plus sunshine equals Simon Weston.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:32, Reply)

I don't really dig blondes.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:24, Reply)

this is why i am buying it
self-preservation
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:26, Reply)

pfft
Whatevs, babydoll.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:27, Reply)

You'll be the Wogan of Off Topic.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:24, Reply)

nah
his wig tries to match. mine will clearly not be my natural colour.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:27, Reply)

collar and cuffs etc

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:28, Reply)

i don't have any cuffs

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:30, Reply)

tmi

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 20:33, Reply)