How are ducks teh gay?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:27, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

they use their explosive corkscrew penises on any duck not savvy enough to fly away

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:29, Reply)

There was some famous wildlife footage a few years ago
Of a Mallard force-bumming another Mallard. In the course of which, the bumee drowned. Rapey Mallard carried on, however, in fact IIRC it fucked off for a bit, and came back and bummed the dead one some more.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:29, Reply)

rollicking offlce lol

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:30, Reply)

who films that and doesn't GO AND HELP???
nature, my arse. don't let a living creature get bummed to a watery grave right in front of you.

as a kid i watched a programme about wild budgies, and a baby one drowned. it struggled for ages as its feathers got wetter and wetter. i cried for weeks. why didn't the fucking cameraman help it? urgh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:30, Reply)

A wild budgie?
Are you sure it wasn't one of those flamingo things that live on slat flats?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:33, Reply)

it was a programme about budgies
i settled down to watch it with my budgie on my knee. it was labouring under the fond delusion that i wanted it to peck every bit of thread off my embroidered jeans. i thought it would be nice for joey to watch its relatives in the wild. turned out i showed it a snuff movie :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:35, Reply)

oh god this sub thread has me in tears of laughter

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:35, Reply)

you are a bad, bad man

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:36, Reply)

actually i abhorred animal cruelty, there is is just too much madness in this thread

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:37, Reply)

to be fair, i don't think the budgie noticed
it once spent an entire year picking every single bit of silver embroidery off a dressing gown that my mother had. by the time it got to the hard-to-reach bits, it would end up swinging by its beak and then falling into her lap. thick. if it had been a wild bird, it wouldn't have lived past about 2 months.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:39, Reply)

this subthread is truly excellent.

( Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:58, Reply)

Wehad a budgie called Joey as kids.
It was yellow.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:49, Reply)

all budgies are called joey

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:55, Reply)

Nature innit.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:35, Reply)

erm, exactly what sort of help are you supposed to offer?
call the Tufty police?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:36, Reply)

just make a loud noise
the raper flies away, the rapee swims away, everyone wins
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:37, Reply)

Especially the good people of Milton keynes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:51, Reply)

i said flies away, not gets crushed by a garbage truck

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:55, Reply)

I shall check out Youtube immediately.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:32, Reply)