Tomorrow night.
I got almost all my records out last night, just a bit more to sort out later. I shall be on the funk tip but have some 50s rock'n'roll in the bag because Lusty likes it. She doesn't have my experience in this job, though, which tells me not many people do, especially not West End types. I might bung some 88-90 upbeat hip hop in there - no one likes that either but I really don't give a shit. This is why I never quite 'made it'. One should always play records to get the 'chicks' dancing. Where they go, pathetic desperate men will follow. DJing for your own (and your specialist nerd mates') enjoyment just doesn't work. Apart from for you and your specialist nerd mates. Which is where not giving a shit is useful.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:11, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

tl;dr no-one will enjoy it apart from me

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:16, Reply)

What funk tunes you got lined up?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:17, Reply)

I'm playing for about 3-4 hours.
Would you like a list?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:21, Reply)

Nope just interested in the funk
Gap Band "you dropped the bomb" is that in there?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:25, Reply)

Nope

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:30, Reply)

Kool and the Gang "Hollywood swinging"?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:31, Reply)

yup

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:42, Reply)

\o/
Dazz band "let it whip"?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:45, Reply)

I'm sorry HH I can't spend all of my THURSDAY doing a Q&A on the contents of my boxes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:47, Reply)

Your funk selection should be like a supermarket and cater for my own particular tastes
and will you kindly stop mentioning THURSDAY please
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:50, Reply)

yeah, the record selection bit is where the hard work goes.
The actual playing them bit is a piece of piss. Getting chicks on the dancefloor is an art all of its own- when I play club sets I go for house records with good basslines that still sound alright pitched up around 132 BPM. Women fucking love bass.

Chicks first, then the boys will follow. Different rules for bar/ backroom sets though, get the hip hop nerds on board first, then the chicks will follow. I personally find club sets much more rewarding though far more stressful. Bar sets where you're just soundtracking things are more 'fun'.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:21, Reply)

I just play what I like. I'm long past giving a toss about other people.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:24, Reply)

got any funky dubstep mate?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:27, Reply)

Best one I ever had was 'have you got anything.....else?'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:29, Reply)

when I get requests
I not so politely ask the prick to look through my record box and I hand them the headphones.

Pricks.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:33, Reply)

Much to my shame, there are now TWO dupstep tracks I like.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:34, Reply)

At least it's bassy

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:36, Reply)

True
I know one is by Knife Party, forgotten who did the other one though.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:37, Reply)

GOLDFINGAH!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:39, Reply)

Oh god, I can't believe I laughed.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:40, Reply)

Dubstep's alright.
Just like with any other genre you need to ignore the mainstream pop shit and dig a little deeper.

You heard any Benga tracks? He's good. As is Martyn, he bridges the dubstep/techno crossover thing. Also check out Shackleton and Kode 9.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:37, Reply)

They all have frightfully gay names.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:39, Reply)

such is life in electronic music, old boy.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:42, Reply)

All music really
Although 'extreme' metal has the stupidest names of any of them.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:44, Reply)

There aren't many artists I know tbh
My friend talks about Savant quite a bit, might have to give that a listen. Just a shame I've only got one system that can deliver half-decent bass, but I don't tend to use it much, as housemate below me hates it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:39, Reply)

see, dubstep is ostensibly club music
But I find it far too slow. It's alright for headphone listening (especially the more garagey stuff like Burial). It's way past its creative peak as well, people like Mt Kimbie, and to a lesser extent, James Blake, are doing some interesting stuff with the template.

It's pretty much done what Drum n Bass did back in the day- been assimilated into pop tracks and cheap & nasty Ministry of Sound compilations. Like I said, dig a bit deeper than Magnetic Man and Skrillex.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:47, Reply)

Can't fucking stand Skrillex, his old music was even worse.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:51, Reply)

"chicks first, then the boys will follow"
Is this your coming out speech?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:29, Reply)

no.
It's the preamble to my 'no fat chicks' speech. So, you know, shit off, yeah?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:30, Reply)

No need to be a pissy little queen about it
Stay butch, you'll get more cock that way
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:31, Reply)

ah, the secret of your 'success' with men.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:34, Reply)

...with 'men', you mean

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:35, Reply)

I think you need to get laid old chap
Your balls are cutting off the circulation to your brain.

Maybe get a second hamster to spice it up a bit?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:35, Reply)

He has 'blue balls'.


Turquoise blue.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:36, Reply)

And a tiny pink shrivelled cock to co-ordinate
With a downward facing stripe
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:37, Reply)

I get plenty, but thanks for taking an interest.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:40, Reply)

Plenty of hamster.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:42, Reply)

Chicks do dig a guy with a rodent

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:47, Reply)

Obvious question, how much of your stuff would the rest of us have heard?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:22, Reply)

that has nothing to do with anything.
It's about what people enjoy at the time.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:23, Reply)

It's a perfectly reasonable question, and it has to do with AA wanting to know the answer to his question.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:27, Reply)

Somewhere between 'not much' and 'none' I suspect. I am wilfuly obscurist.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:26, Reply)

Fair enough!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:27, Reply)