I plan on shouting into my mobile phone whenever the opportunity seems least appropriate

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 9:55, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

When the packed train arrives, stand right in front of the doors as everybody's trying to get off.
The more slack-jawed and stupid your expression, the better.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 9:56, Reply)

"forget" that to enter or exit the station you will need what we call a "ticket"
then stand blocking the gate exit while you root around for it in your handbag. For extra lols turn around a try and laugh it off to those stuck behind you
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 9:58, Reply)

When you finally reach your destination station
stop right outside the exit so that you can work out where to go next. For preference, right in the fucking doorway.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 10:00, Reply)

And ask people what train you should be on. And then try to engage them in conversation.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 29 Jul 2013, 10:01, Reply)

Please don't ask which trains/bus routes you need to use to get to x destination
as a withering glare and lack of a response often offends.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 10:04, Reply)

Would it be ok to run through a list of all the places I've already been to that day?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 10:04, Reply)

As long as you also show photographs.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 29 Jul 2013, 10:07, Reply)

this works particularly well considering that you are underground...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 9:56, Reply)

"YEAH...YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP, THE RECEPTION'S FUCKING WOEFUL...
WHAT??? WHAT???? YEAH.....WHAT????"
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 9:58, Reply)