I disagree. I was on a beach the other weekend and went into the sea for a swim.
It was so fucking cold that the Colonel made a tactical withdrawal to a muster point somewhere around my liver. I had a mangina for hours. So long, in fact, that I was concerned I'd never see him again. I genuinely thought my only career option would be singing with a feather boa around my neck in a specialist Soho nightclub.

I didn't enjoy that at all.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:45, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

swimming in the british sea
is not the same as enjoying oneself on a beach with sun, white sand, chilled towels and frosty cocktails on demand... you made a tactical error. the little captain (i think you overpromoted him) should just be grateful that he survived at all.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:48, Reply)

I might demote him to Captain for showing such cowardice in front of a lady.
(I'd demote to Major, but I'm pretty sure that'll give an unfair impression of his abilities).
( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:49, Reply)

maybe just leave him as........
....... private(s).

hahahahaha
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:50, Reply)

I don't get it.

( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:55, Reply)

oh christ
right, an unranked army guy is a private.

and privates is slang for your genitals.

and you are talking about your cock.

so.....

does that help?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:56, Reply)

But it's a Colonel.

( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:58, Reply)

yer right

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 11:00, Reply)

Nonsense, swimming in the seas around this island is great fun.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:50, Reply)

I strongly disagree.
You should see the photos that were taken of me howling in pain and misery.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:51, Reply)

"Where's Willy?"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:52, Reply)

og was crying with laughter, it was embarrassing.

( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:54, Reply)

+ then we went to the seaside

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:57, Reply)

:(

( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 11:02, Reply)

The sea temperature should be approaching somewhere near tolerable by now.
By September/October it's lovely.
Earlier in the year you have to limit yourself to full submersion then swim quickly back to shore.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:55, Reply)

They said the water temperature was 18 degrees!
18 degrees fucking Fahrenheit, maybe.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:56, Reply)

there should be footage of this
i bet you flapped around like a giant pink seagull
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:57, Reply)

I'll send you one of the photos.
She managed to choke back the hilarity long enough to take a couple that weren't blurry from camera shake.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:59, Reply)

i am standing right by my phone waiting

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 11:00, Reply)

cockgaz ahoy!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 11:01, Reply)

+no
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 11:01, Reply)

fucking hell, he actually did it as well
colonel mustard more like.... dude, what's that yellow stuff???
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 11:02, Reply)

Necrosis.

( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 11:03, Reply)

that was one cold ocean

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 11:03, Reply)

It's all relative innit
When the air is 25°+, 18° is going to feel a bit cold.
If the air was 18° you would probably have felt warmer swimming in the sea.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:59, Reply)

this post looked really lonely by itself

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 11:26, Reply)

Thanks rach, I appreciate your support.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 11:26, Reply)

it looks pretty
but i know too many people who got stung by weaverfish in cornwall. i will only be venturing in there in very thick soled jelly shoe - apparently the pain is unbelievable.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:55, Reply)

The sea was gorgeous, so blue and clear. You'd never think it was Britain at all
Until you put a foot in and it froze right off, anyway.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 11:06, Reply)

a foot?
that thing was nowhere near 12 inches and you know it...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 11:14, Reply)