I think my general answer, on being bamboozled by flat-pack furniture, is - what would Jesus do?

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 20:28, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

He is the son of a carpenter, he'd have picked up a few tips along the way.
The chances are his garage is full of dowels and screws, he'd get it built in no time.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 20:34, Reply)

He'd have made a proper one
None of this Ikea shit for Jesus.

Oak frames and walnut insets, I reckon, unless they were the burning ones.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 20:38, Reply)

He'd have saved the MDF for his cross.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 20:40, Reply)

A cross with a cream formica veneer is a far more classy way to be crucified

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 20:42, Reply)

The breakfast bar was too far though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 20:44, Reply)

On reflection, I'm perhaps not sure that Jesus WAS actually crucified on a selection of MFI kitchen units.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 20:51, Reply)

Not at THOSE prices!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 20:52, Reply)

"Surely, Pilot, we can nail him up cheaper than that?"
YES YOU CAN! At the Wickes kitchen, bathroom and big cross sale!
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 20:55, Reply)

I don't think they had planes back then.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 20:57, Reply)

If he was called Pontious Pilot, why didn't he have a plane?
Are you saying I spelled it wrong?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 21:00, Reply)

I have emailed Ikea
but they're going to take up to 5 working days to get back to me. In the meantime I have a 3/4 assembled Expedit TV unit on my living room floor.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 20:45, Reply)

I suspect that their response will be
"You are a terrible mongy". Now you have a fine collection of beech veneered MDF. Make of it what you will.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 20:49, Reply)

I'd quite like to make a TV unit out of it.
to be honest I'm not 100% sure these dowels are strictly necessary, it's a vertical back bit so not load-bearing and there's some bolts it slots onto that'd probably do.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 20:56, Reply)

Do you have a hammer? Do you have nails? Do you not have much patience?
Done.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 21:02, Reply)

Nope and nope.
I've been using an old saucepan.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 21:33, Reply)

That's my sort of DIY
AND you can wear it on your head afterwards.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 21:36, Reply)