If I were you I'd get someone good at acting to ring the office in tears,
And ask for you, then you start crying after a but of a convo, and make sure in earshot of someone important "I loved him too, but I can't possibly leave, the office is empty and if I don't do my job hundreds may suffer" and then cry for a bit, excuse yourself to the bathroom, wait in the loo for about 10 mins, wash your face come back, sit down with a huge sigh and get on with work, but do it slowly. I'm sure no one will bother you, and if you see someone approach your desk, let out a sob, they'll soon fuck off.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 7:54, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Of course no one would approach him if he did that.
It's mental behaviour.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 7:56, Reply)

I might not go for this plan, would you be terribly offended if I don't?
There are one or two flaws in it which I don't think I can work around - primarily there's no one else in here at the moment which adds a whole extra layer of mental which I just don't think I'm ready for.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 7:58, Reply)

As above but video it and
show it to the next person to come in.
Off to Lightwater Vally with four grandcubs so can't help you further.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:05, Reply)

But I was relying on you for lunch cover you cunt

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:07, Reply)

Oh, yeah, no worries, do what you think best.
:(
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:15, Reply)

or he could do do a long poo in a ring around his desk

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:18, Reply)

Ah, the old 'wild west wagon-circle'?
Good thinking.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:26, Reply)

She looks like a sugar in a plum

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:05, Reply)