Horrible Drunken People
I was on the train home last night, when a man vommed. It went all up the door and everything.

When the doors opened at Southwark, he calmly kicked the majority of the chinks on to the platform, and tried to wipe the sick off the door with his jumper, which only had the effect of smearing it about the place.

At that point, someone on the train said "you are dis-gus-ting", to which the drunk replied (with a genial shrug):

"C'est la vie."

And then he fell off the train.

How I didn't jump on the chunder train I don't know.

Anyway... What horrid things have you seen drunkards do?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 22 Jul 2008, 16:57, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Gimme a couple more hours
And I'll get me camera out!

;)

Only joking. Its been a decade or two since I lost control in public!
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Tue 22 Jul 2008, 17:36, Reply)

I was in a nightclub in an Essex squaddie town
Having just used the bathroom - and negotiated the two inches of pissy water between the urinal and the sink - I was faced with what resembled a Glaswegian chimpanzee.

"Ah, jes' shat meeshelf" it announced.

Two seconds later, he turns round and drops his jeans to prove the point.

An hour later, he's seen smooching on the dancefloor during a slow song.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 22 Jul 2008, 17:52, Reply)

I once got punched by a drunk
Except I didn't, because his swing was in such slow motion that I was 10 metres away by the time his fist would have hit my face.


Also a drunk grabbed hold of me once and started to wrestle me onto the tracks on the tube.


Cunts, the lot of them.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 22 Jul 2008, 17:55, Reply)

Blackpool? Cesspool!
I was up in Blackpool for a stag do many years back and a few of us were sat in the guest house bar while the others got ready. There was a group of mid to late 30's lads in the bar who had obviously been exercising their drinking arms for ages .... All was relatively normal until I glanced round to see a member of their party stood at the bar necking his pint while a brown stain slowly spread across the back of his strides.

I remember nudging my friend insistently "Cy" "What?" Cy doesn't look round, "Cy" "What?" Cy still doesn't look round, "CY!" I pointedly exclaim, Cy follows my horrified gaze to the man standing in a public bar caked his own shit ...."Oh sweet fucking Christ" spake my disgusted friend.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 22 Jul 2008, 18:00, Reply)

More tramp than lady.
On a night out in sunny Sheffield we were in a bar on West St .... A real hive of scum and villainy. Towards the end of the night I was stood taking a leak at the urinals when a beered up woman with a manic look in her eye burst through the door "The fucking women's bogs're rammed" she cried as she tore towards a urinal, lifted her skirt, hoiked aside her underwear and proceeded to back onto the urinal and piss like she was trying to put out Piper Alpha.

Pure class.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 22 Jul 2008, 18:07, Reply)

A friend and I
elected to sample the only remaining drinking establishment we had yet to try near our new abode. At about three in the afternoon (for we were accursed students), we witnessed a man attempting to leave the bar in a somewhat inebriated state. As he neared the door, his trousers fell to the region of his ankles. Fortunately, his shirt was long enough to conceal whatever lay beneath.

Less fortunately, he was so drunk that he failed to notice the escape of this leg coverings and continued walking, falling forward to the ground. It seemed, after a moment, that he had equally failed to notice falling over and carried on toward the exit in a shambling writhe until his departure was assisted by his almost-as-drunk associates.

The other closest pub had a pub rabbit eating lettuce off the floor. We went further afield after that. Armed.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Tue 22 Jul 2008, 18:27, Reply)

Saw
a drunk guy getting a handjob off a drunk girl in the middle of the dancefloor in a sheffield nightclub once. Luckily he popped his cork away from me.

Nice.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Tue 22 Jul 2008, 21:38, Reply)