Reg, I'm supposed to go out for dinner with 'er indoors later on
She's well looking forward to it, but I'm feeling a bit out of sorts due to last night's camping on a bus and orienteering across North London.

What's the best way to tell a woman to get bent?
( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:26, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Shit in her cunt

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:28, Reply)

^typical paki

( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:29, Reply)

*marries 8 year old*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:30, Reply)

Just be grateful he wasn't on your bus
His type will rape anything on public transport.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:33, Reply)

One of them was eyeing me beadily as we went up through Islington.
Must have been his stop though, lucky escape, that.
( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:36, Reply)

Offer an alternative night.
Feign injury

Shit in her cunt.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:31, Reply)

It would be merde-r to get your aim right

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:32, Reply)

Offer an alternative night?
You don't know women AT ALL. Not even a dry back-hander to keep her schtum? Tut.
( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:33, Reply)

Then how come the ones in my life don't shriek at me like a banshee?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:34, Reply)

Cos you've got lads for that, innit.

( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:35, Reply)

Nah, just good people skills :)

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:38, Reply)

So, here's something I've always wanted to know.
So, you know how the fruitier ones sometimes get to screeching? Are you allowed to give 'em an open hand slap to get them grounded the same way you can with hysterical women, or are you supposed to go with a closed fist punch? It's a minefield, you know.
( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:43, Reply)

I would go with a handslap.
Act like a bitch, get slapped like a bitch.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:44, Reply)

Thanks man, I'd have been well embarrassed if I'd got that wrong.

( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:45, Reply)

What, like a cybergoth club or something?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:40, Reply)

I never got them.
How can you be so melancholy, yet colourful?

Is it irony?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:45, Reply)

fucken take some pills or summat and do right by yer missus joe
if she can see youre struggling but still making the effort then thats a chip in your pot for later innit
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:32, Reply)

This man knows his oats.

( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:32, Reply)

This is excellent advice.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:37, Reply)

He's like Dear Deirdre

( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:39, Reply)

Even sexier, though.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:42, Reply)

I'm looking forward to his photo stories of awkward situations where everybody's in their underwear.

( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:49, Reply)

I quite literally can't wait.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:54, Reply)

i ent no picasso, but here goes

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:18, Reply)

This is brilliant.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:20, Reply)

Haha excellent
and so subtle too, I have absolutely no idea who is being taken off, here.
( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:21, Reply)