hiya kids!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 14:59, 60 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hi Dad

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:03, Reply)

tidy your room

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:22, Reply)

Hello

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:05, Reply)

wilhelm

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:23, Reply)

I'm in the pub.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:08, Reply)

nice

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:21, Reply)

wish I was

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:23, Reply)

Alright Monty

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:17, Reply)

alright mate

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:23, Reply)

You well on this fine uh afternoon?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:34, Reply)

I went out on my new bicycle earlier. Bit scary.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:45, Reply)

Did you fall off?
Haven't used mine for a few weeks; I noticed it needed dusting the other day. Now you've reminded me I might go out on it in the morning.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:51, Reply)

nah no mishaps

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:52, Reply)

New fixie eh?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:53, Reply)

it was one before himjim poster converted it

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:56, Reply)

I'm surprised you'd confess this
'fraid you're half hipster now.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:58, Reply)

It's Monty Boyce!
You know, off the internet!

Good afternoon, Montalban. Having a good one?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:28, Reply)

nah
You?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:45, Reply)

I'm in the juicer.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:34, Reply)

Me too.
Brunch and a coke for me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:35, Reply)

Amstel for me. My ex collected micro from me at half 2 and micro got upset; didn't want to leave etc.
So I decided to calm down with a beverage or 37.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:38, Reply)

waiting to pick mine up at six
I have to take her to fuckin Barking tomorrow to some little cunt's birthday. I have to buy him a present. Out of my food budget.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:47, Reply)

Give him one of your pot noodles.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:49, Reply)

I don't even have any

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 15:57, Reply)

afternoon there chap
I've had a giant east end breakfast (at 2pm) and then come back and had a nap on the sofa with the football on. MAN THINGS.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 16:56, Reply)

I've just finally esigned my contract with the estate agents
So I've earnt a vodka and tonic, to my mind.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 17:04, Reply)

What's your estimated completion date? Might be time for you to start looking for your next place.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 17:07, Reply)

no idea at all but it's going to take a couple of months
No point in looking seriously until date announced. Just need to look to get an idea of prices. Roughly a grand pcm in Leyton. I can just about cover that. Still gonna be broke day to day though. Utterly miserable about the whole thing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 17:12, Reply)

You'll have some capital in the bank and with interest rates being so low you won't lose out long term if you erode a bit of it have an easier day to day life.
Spend £600 a month of your savings. £7200 a year. Do that for two years and you'll still have over £100k in savings.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 17:16, Reply)

I suppose so

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 17:21, Reply)

Alright Mince?

( Peej, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 17:18, Reply)

meh

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 17:19, Reply)

you should do a stocks and shares ISA.
Balanced portfolio, should do quite well. Our balanced aggressive portfolio has done 17% over the last year and 66% over the last five years. Put the full limit in, you should make about 6k over the next two years. Only way to keep up with house prices innit.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 17:37, Reply)

could I lose the money through?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 17:53, Reply)

is that a really ignorant question?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 17:54, Reply)

the value of an investment can go down as well as up and you may get back less than you put in.
It's highly unlikely you'd lose everything, balanced means your portfolio would have a mix of equities and fixed interest stocks. When one of those asset types goes up the other goes down.

Portfolio means diversification; anyone investing in just one fund is a fucking spastic. You'd be going in to about 12 funds within the ISA wrapper, how likely do you think it would be that all 12 would lose value? There ent no reward without risk, two years might be dodgy under normal circumstances, but if you invested now it would be just as performance is picking up and the unit prices are fairly low.

Keep it in cash and it'll lose value. Inflation is, what, about 3%? You need to be getting 5 or 6% to be making any returns, and you can only get that level of growth from residential property or from equities. You've just come out of property, you need to get into equities through ISA funds.

Go and see an IFA innit. Different funds have different levels of risk. Depends how much risk you're willing to take.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 18:31, Reply)

I should point out that Dozer is merely a proof-reader of the marketing activity produced by his employer.
He is NOT financial advisor.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 18:41, Reply)

this is true, I am not an adviser.
And financial promotions is not the same as proof reading. I have to know how everything works. I have CII investment qualifications an' all.

But that up there is all true. Which part of that 'small a' advice is incorrect?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 18:44, Reply)

6k over two years to keep up with house prices?
He doesn't live in fucking Bongo Bongo land.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 18:49, Reply)

nah, the 6k would be from putting the full £11500 in an ISA for two years with investment growth.
If he puts the balance in the same funds but via an OEIC then he gets the same growth but taxed.

The keeping up with house prices thing referred to 5 or 6% growth, not the cash growth. I assume Monty wants to buy again. If he does then his capital needs to grow at the same or faster rate than property does.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 18:53, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2112274
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 18:54, Reply)

my flat is going up by 2k a month

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 19:17, Reply)

I have been misquoted
When I said it's the only way to keep up with house prices, I meant investing as opposed to cash. ISAs are your best option. Bang the balance in the same funds but via OEICs and transfer the max from the OEIC to an ISA each year. Cash is a waste of money.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 19:22, Reply)

The main problem with this is that
For the love of money, people will lie, Lord, the will cheat
For the love of money people don't care who the hurt or beat

So I'm not sure who to agree with.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 19:29, Reply)

Aigh'?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 18:24, Reply)

greetings
(oh man, now I've gone and remembered that series Bread with its 3 jokes)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 18:28, Reply)

Turns out sleeping is the *new* being awake.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 19:08, Reply)

The fiver I put on a seven game accumulator came in
So that was nice.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 19:31, Reply)

You could always share the love with some of these bets y'know.
Just saying'
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 19:32, Reply)

I'm going to take the Doris out for dinner, so it is being shared.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 19:33, Reply)

What time is the table booked for? If you get a 10.15pm slot i could just about make it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 19:41, Reply)

She hasn't said where she wants to go yet.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 19:47, Reply)

I won a fiver on a scratch card that cost £3, so we are both living the dream.
I won't let it change me.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 19:33, Reply)

Innit, blud.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 19:34, Reply)

I will never forget I came from the ghetto, it's in my blood.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 19:35, Reply)

But I was fooled by the rocks what you got.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 19:36, Reply)

I used to have a little now I got a lot
Well, I say a lot, I mean a little. But slightly more little than before, you get me yeah? Tekkers.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 5 Oct 2013, 19:38, Reply)