My exciting night
Don't read this if you've got anything better to do.
[Selected highlights]
Or the tale of Kaol, his two friends and "why does this kind of stuff happen to me all the time?"

Last night I headed into fair London Town to go to a gig, accompanied by my trusty comrades Jom and Timmy (names altered for legal reasons).
We got to central London on the tube from Epping and went to get some food before picking up our tickets, at which point we got a call saying the gig was cancelled.

"Fear not," said I to my handsome entourage, "We're in London, the City of Dreams, surely there must be fine distractions for young men such as ourselves."

~~~~~Fast-forward four hours~~~~~

Timmy is "The most drunk he's ever been ^TM", Jom is also fairly drunk, and I'm not too bad. We're standing in Tottenham Court Road, eating waffles from a street vendor.

~~~~~Fast-forward four more hours~~~~~

We're slumped outside a rock club, Timmy looking a fine shade of zombie-grey. The half-price cocktail pitchers were a bad idea, especially the Long Island Iced Teas.
Just because something is half price, it doesn't mean you should drink twice as many.
Timmy mutters something about it being a "bad waffle" and I lead him to a dark, leafy flower bed to be sick.

~~~~~Fast-forward one hour~~~~~

Jom has decided it's a great idea to walk to Hyde Park and sleep there.
It wasn't.
We got as far as Green Park, Timmy having been sick about ten more times.
We meet a wonderful Watchman of the Night, Mr. Insane Tramp.
He started a five-minute rant at us that began with:
"I'm Jesus. In fact I'm fucking God.
I'm your worst fucking nightmare.
I'm the kind of person they warn you about at school.
I'll fuck you up if you look at me wrong.
I'm Hitler and Ghandi."

That kind of thing.
When he'd finished I offered him some chewing gum, and with a "Thanks mate" he wandered off into the night.

~~~~~Fast-forward one hour~~~~~

Jom and Timmy are both throwing up now, moaning about the waffles. I'm a bit worried, as I had one too.
We're now wandering around Knightsbridge, thanks to Jom's wonderful sense of direction.
It was at this point I decided to grab 20 minutes of sleep behind a statue of "Borridge", near the French Embassy, before being moved on by the police.

~~~~~Fast-Forward four hours~~~~~

After hours of wandering, and a few minor adventures we got on the Tube, having to get off every few stops for Timmy to throw up. He'd been sick about 50 times by this point, and I was a little worried.
An hour later I was home and in bed.

If your made it to the end, congratualations, but maybe you should get out a little more...
On second thoughts, you're safer staying at home.
( Cawl, Fri 1 Aug 2008, 18:50, 7 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Wow, what a night
That's an impressive amount of vomming that is.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 1 Aug 2008, 18:53, Reply)

Ah the adventures of youth.
Yes it is fun but quite frankly I'm glad I've been there, done it, bought the t-shirt and settled into the middle-age excitement of a bottle of plonk in front of the telly.
( girlinthehole, Fri 1 Aug 2008, 19:04, Reply)

To think
this was happening only a short distance from my home.
*locks door*
( thealternativefact, Fri 1 Aug 2008, 19:36, Reply)

I'm so glad
I'm old enough to know better than to do this...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 1 Aug 2008, 20:18, Reply)

I'm impressed
you all managed to get that drunk before the last tube home.
Good work sir!
( wanderlust, Sat 2 Aug 2008, 11:34, Reply)

@ al
That would make more sense. (silly me)
I thought they must have started drinking at 2 in the afternoon or something.
I haven't thrown up on the first tube home in ages...Ahhh memories.
( wanderlust, Sun 3 Aug 2008, 11:25, Reply)