When my daughter was just learning to talk I went upstairs to tuck her in and she rolled over, woke up and said
"Somebody died", then went back to sleep

ARGH! KILL IT WITH HAMMERS!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 10:39, 4 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

My daughter has discovered lying. It's hilarious.
Me: what did mummy give you for lunch?
Her: chocolate pasta.
Me: Really?
Her: No.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 10:42, Reply)

haha!
Her mum is Gonz?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 10:44, Reply)

I'm pretty sure my daughter is going to be some kind of innovative swearing champion
by the time she's 2. Which will be fun at nursery.

"Er, Dr Badger, today Mini B called one of the other children a cockwomble. Have you any idea where she heard that?"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 10:47, Reply)

Cbeebies

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 10:49, Reply)

hahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 10:52, Reply)

Who on here has the child that mentioned Helen Keller's drum kit? That was excellent.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 10:49, Reply)

I have that child
I mean its not mine but the lock on the cellar is very strong
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 10:54, Reply)

Maybe she is the cause
of the inlaws last year, just saying
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 10:48, Reply)

hmmmm

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 10:52, Reply)

there was an amusing buzzfeed link the other day
(shamelessly stolen from reddit) with creepy things that people's kids have said to them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 11:04, Reply)

Things like:
Wrong hole daddy.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 11:16, Reply)