worst letter of claim i ever had to write
dear garden centre

5 years ago, my boss bought a monkey puzzle tree from you.

it has now died.

please replace it, or he'll sue you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:33, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

and actually
dear carpet people

my stupid dad bought a pale cream carpet from you.

he immediately stained it in several places by failing to take off his shoes as he came in.

the stains won't come out.

give him a new one, or he'll sue you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:33, Reply)

2 reasons why people hate lawyers right here folks^

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:35, Reply)

it worked though
I got my boss a new baby monkey puzzle tree, and my dad got a new carpet.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:35, Reply)

Why would anyone replace a 5yr old tree?
fucking idiots. However you realise that you probably caused them to put up the price for everyone else
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:41, Reply)

Don't tell her that, she'll put her prices up too

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:43, Reply)

35p per handy J
its extortion I tell you
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:45, Reply)

negotiation, like all these things
essentially my boss spent a fortune in there on a regular basis because he had exotic fish, and they didn't want to lose him. so they gave him a baby tree as a compromise, everyone was happy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:48, Reply)