Financial fuckwittery
I got paid today - yay! Being the well adjusted financial man about town that I am, I thought "I'll pay off the deposit for our nuptials straight away, then it's out the way".

On line I went, and attempted to make a payment. Got so far, then was confronted by a "we are unable to complete your transaction, please try again later" message.

Hmm. Check details, and try again. Same thing. Arse.

One more try. Success! £425 leaving my current account and winging it's way to those nice Goldfish people.

Right, got another couple of moving money around the city jobs to do (really just transferring the food shopping money into my other Barclays account - I'm a bit anal like that). So I log back into my Barclays account, only to find that my balance has shrunk spectacularly to £54. WTF?

Whoa. A quick call to Barclays confirms that three transactions of £425 are floating around in cyberspace waiting to be processed. "Give Goldfish a call and ask them to cancel two of the transactions, but ring us back if they're unable to help and we'll see what we can do," they helpfully advise. So I do.

Except Goldfish haven't got a record of these transactions yet as it takes four days to hit their account. "Give Barclays a call and get them to put a stop on two of the payments, otherwise it's going to be the middle of next week before we can get it back to you".

I'm starting to hyperventilate by this point, not helped by the fact that some two weeks on our kitchen is not quite finished, the washing machine hasn't been plumbed in yet and one of the drawers doesn't open all the way as the washer juts out just slightly too far...

Back to Barclays, and a different person this time. I explain again, adding that Goldfish have advised me to call them as they are unable to help just now.

"You made the transaction on line, you say"? asks the polite but by now slightly annoying disembodied female voice.

"Yes".

"Then I'll have to put you through to our on line transactions department".

*Sigh* "OK, thanks".

Thirty seconds of musak ensues while I try to not gnaw through the phone cable in mild annoyance. There's a ringtone, followed by a friendly voice.

"I'm sorry, we are unable to provide any information regarding on line transactions as our system is currently down. Please call back in half an hour".

Click.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhh"!

I need a drink.

*EDIT* Some 50 minutes of fucking about on the phone and it appears to be sorted...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Aug 2008, 19:08, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I hate that shit
This is the future. Money should move instantly. Who gets the interest on all this money that is floating in cyberspace?

When you get back through to Barclays don't take any shit. The error was at their end and therefore their problem.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 15 Aug 2008, 19:21, Reply)

Ooh
HSBC 'lost' our cash for the reception for a very shouty 1/2 hour. We now have a cheap HSBC mortgage, after all, 15 stone of pissed off jock advising them to call in the shopfitters tends to have an effect...
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 15 Aug 2008, 21:43, Reply)

Halifax have
charged me a "late fee" because the online transaction I put through *two weeks* prior to the payment date didn't actually go through. No warnings, nothing.

So I rang them. They told me to ring back after it appears on my bill to get it refunded "as I've been a good customer so far".

Indeed.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 15 Aug 2008, 22:24, Reply)

All banks...
..are the same IMO. They just have varied levels of incompetence.

I had to blockade the doors in a local Nationwide as they refused to let my girlfriend have 200 quid from her account, due to lack of ID.

She had two bank statements - one from that very bank, a picture card ID from one of those 'prove your age' things, and old expired cash-card for the account she was trying to access, one mobile phone bill, one electic bill and one gas bill.

They said she needed a passport.

It was a fucking passport she needed the money from the account to buy!!

It wouldn't have been so bad, but they had sent her replacement cashcard to a random address when her last one expired, otherwise she would have just used that.

Cnuts.

Still, the look on his face was priceless when I pushed all the chairs etc.. up against the doors so no-one could get in.
(dchurch bah, Tue 19 Aug 2008, 11:19, Reply)