^ wanker ^

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:26, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

^ tosser ^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:28, Reply)

At least I haven't spent time online today boasting & stating 'lol' about someones endowment policy. Rules are rules, particularly on financial matters, but taking pleasure from that?
That definitely makes you a wanker.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:30, Reply)

hey I was being facetious
Alternatively, I was 'making stuff up'.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:32, Reply)

Yes dear.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:35, Reply)

if you carry on like that you'll end up pretending to have children, thinking sterile puns are funny, and collecting the personal photos of people who have wronged you online

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:39, Reply)

you've lost me there, old bean

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:41, Reply)

avirginsayswut

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:07, Reply)

excuse me?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:08, Reply)

what's your favourite made-up word

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:09, Reply)

I do like the word 'rockumentary'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:14, Reply)

^ IT prick from Swindon ^

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:19, Reply)

^ John Major off Spitting Image ^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:22, Reply)

^ stays up till daft o'clock trying to get the last word online, despite allegedly having two kids ^

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:26, Reply)

He does?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:27, Reply)

pipe down, Gayson
Did you Google 'pthc' from your work computer?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:28, Reply)

comedy gold.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:27, Reply)

Baby goats are very demanding dont you know?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:36, Reply)

Yer to be fair Batboy he does seem to think he's it in the old insurance salesman game.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:34, Reply)

want to buy an unregulated collective investment?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:34, Reply)

No need thank you.
I can always find better returns than investing in someone else's profit making.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:43, Reply)

yer it was a compliance joke

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:43, Reply)

Wrong audience ovs.
Stand up's cruel these days Plummy
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:48, Reply)

Awooga. What a rush.
Right. Yeah, I got my notes here just in case I completely forget what I'm fucking saying. So, how are we all? Are we all good? Excellent, excellent.

Right, like, I was sort of rehearsing earlier. It is an absolute fucking pleasure to be here in despite the fact that my heart is currently going nineteen to a dozen and I feel like I'm about to take my driving test. Which I failed three times in a row. However, I- the last time I maintain it wasn't my fault.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:51, Reply)

It's getting tedious for me having to click u/ns to see who it is b efore
I can decide whether or not to reply.
Glad it's you
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:12, Reply)

eh?
has the name stealer been at it again?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:14, Reply)

Banality personified

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:27, Reply)

comedy's a fickle mistress edjers
At my last standup gig I did my 'Stephen Hawking as an old school comedian' routine and it didn't quite go as well as I hoped.

I suppose starting off with 'Stephen Hawking is just a frustrated standup' may not have been the wisest move.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:51, Reply)

Hmmm. Script needs plenty work Lil Plum

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:07, Reply)

'Heisenberg's uncertainty principle teaches us that we can only accurately know the position or the momentum of a particle, not both, which leads us to the fact tbat some of my best friends are pakis but I wouldn't want them living next door'
Stephen could never separate his working life from his jokes on the northern comedy circuit of the 1970s.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:12, Reply)

Fy was you I'd be looking to licence that Awooga script.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:20, Reply)

I wouldn't say that my wife is fat, because next to the size of the universe she is very insignificant

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:21, Reply)

Ah !
Starting to get the hang of it now Bernard.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:28, Reply)

Beyond the event horizon is an area of space so infinitely dense and curved that the force of gravity is so strong that not even light itself can escape, an area of chaos and blackness.
We call it 'Bradford'.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:34, Reply)

Racist!

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:57, Reply)

send them back.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:59, Reply)

was it ever in question?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:36, Reply)

alright woodsie

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:38, Reply)

U ok hun? xx

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 21:51, Reply)

Tip top. Yourself?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:04, Reply)

Aye canny, cheers

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 22:31, Reply)