No, I did not have a good breakfast.
In fact I didn't have breakfast at all, on account of having been sat on the bog for two solid* days with a bad case of volcanus.

*Not solid at all. I wish for solid. I'd murder my gran for solid.
( Kroney, Tue 6 May 2014, 11:20, 3 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Excellent work with volcanus

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 11:22, Reply)

Top tip: Eat Polyfilla straight from the box.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 6 May 2014, 11:23, Reply)

Fills in the cracks, dunt it?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 11:24, Reply)

Yer and absorbs fifty times its own weight in enteritis.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 6 May 2014, 11:25, Reply)

I'm sitting on the can with a pint of smoothie
Letting it drip in one end and straight out the other. At this point I'm just one long, rusty pipe with horrifying stomach cramps.
( Kroney, Tue 6 May 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Good opportunity for some internal HDR photos

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 6 May 2014, 11:26, Reply)

Shart attack

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 11:27, Reply)

I cooked with two scotch bonnets (it was MASSIVE, I've got some for lunch) on Sunday
and am yet to erupt. I can only assume it's in the post.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 6 May 2014, 11:37, Reply)

want to swap?

( Kroney, Tue 6 May 2014, 11:38, Reply)

Why not, it's got to be better than work
Is your condition self-inflicted or has your poorly tummy got a nasty bug?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 6 May 2014, 11:40, Reply)

literally no idea. I assume it's a bug.
Too nasty and prolonged for simple poisoning.
( Kroney, Tue 6 May 2014, 11:42, Reply)

You have my sympathies
Nasty bastards. Maybe liquify a naga and stick it in your smoothie, that'll get you flushed
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 6 May 2014, 11:43, Reply)