My mate binned his bird off when he moved in next door to me
He woke up early one Sturday morning at around 5am, many month later, opened his curtains to find her standing there in the road, looking up at his flat

One of my exes threw a vodka and coke at me when I walked in from work five minutes later than normal. Apparently I must have been balls deep in someone during that time instead of the train being delayed. 8 stitches later in my elbow and a "see you later"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 15:44, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

You just reminded me of a mate of mine.
He dated a bunny boiler for a few weeks, he called it off and after various incidents, she eventually broke into his house and got in bed with him. He decided to head spend a few years living off of his parents money, travelling, in the hope that she'd forget about him and find someone else to be a fucking lunatic towards.

She actually managed to track him down while he was in Hong Kong, she bought flights, travelled over there and broke into his hotel room. He's not seen her since the hotel involved the local constabulary.
( Muns, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 15:47, Reply)

Nice
I've had a few Klingons over the years who didn't take "FUCK OFF" for an answer
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 15:49, Reply)

Use baby wipes.
They come off quite easily then.
( Muns, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 15:50, Reply)

Just like YM

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 15:52, Reply)

Fucking hell.
Mental number 1 from up there ^ - the day I finished with her, she phoned everyone she knew to tell them that I had callously dumped her. As I say, a total fucking drama queen.

She tried to phone one friend in particular, who was out on a pub crawl with her work mates and didn't get the call. When she saw the missed calls the next day she phoned her. The mental one refused to believe that she'd been out with her work mates, and instead accused her of being with me.

So she lost her bloke and one of her best mates on the same day. Nice going ya fucking lunatic.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 Jun 2014, 15:58, Reply)

Still have the scars

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 15:59, Reply)

We all do, young Sporters, we all do.
*Thousand yard stares*
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 Jun 2014, 16:01, Reply)

YOU WEREN'T THERE MAN

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 16:01, Reply)

I was, but YM let me out the back door just before you got home.
And when I say back door, zzzzzzzzzz
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 Jun 2014, 16:05, Reply)