Unemployment sucks
I was made redundant six weeks ago now and I still can't find a job in the stupid industry I studied for four years to do.

I'm beginning to think I may as well throw in the towel and use this as a chance to start a career in something new and (dare I say it) fun, that otherwise I wouldn't have got a chance to try having previously been on the desk job gravy train.

Only problem is, apart from being a porn director or a Birds custard taster I can't think of anything.

Any of you weird, wonderful and diverse B3tards out there got any ideas?
(Errorist, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:30, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I hear there's a lot of money
In selling the Evening Standard.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:37, Reply)

If I get to stand
on a street corner shouting I'm well up for it.
(Errorist, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:40, Reply)

I do that anyway
For free!

'Til the fuckers arrested me :(
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:41, Reply)

what industry
were you in?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:42, Reply)

The Tramp Sector
But I've got an injuction against me now :(
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:44, Reply)

I was
an Environmental Consultant. I assessed contaminated land.
(Errorist, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:45, Reply)

Hmm the Tramp Sector..
Sounds good. The alcohol and lack of responsibility sounds very interesting. Would it allow a sideline in Big Issue sellng though?
(Errorist, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:46, Reply)

Yeah!
Big Issue's allowed.

"That'll be a fiver mate."

"But... It clearly says two pounds!"

"Inflation, sorry... *shrugs*"
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:48, Reply)

I think I'm seeing my future career path more clearly now
Tramping and Big Issue selling sounds lovely. Its going to take some commitment though. I best stop brushing my teeth, cleaning or buying any new clothes.

*takes a refreshing swig of meths*
(Errorist, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:52, Reply)

import and sell cocaine!
High risk but massive margins

Even at dealer level you should be able to make £20.00 profit a gram
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:55, Reply)

I did actually consider that.
Unfortunately I don't know any local Pablo Escobars who could supply me!
(Errorist, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:58, Reply)

Does the EA
not have any openings? I'm assuming that it's a fairly specialist field you're in.

Step away from the luminous blue 3L cider bottle and the Big Issue tabbard.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:22, Reply)

Good idea
Unfortunately the EA is pretty difficult to get into at the best of times. Having said that I haven't tried yet so best give it a go!

I am feeling the pull of that carefree tramp lifestyle though.
(Errorist, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:41, Reply)

I knew someone who was a cake taster for Mr Kiplings
she left after a month!
What the hell could have been that wrong.

Do you have a degree?

If so, and you can't think of anything else to do, train to be a teacher like me and get 6 weeks off in the summer.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:42, Reply)

I wouldn't want to work for the EA
speaking as an engineering consultant who does most of his work for the EA.

if only you did marine or terrestrial ecology then I could point you in the direction of my company
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:52, Reply)

Work in Health & Safety!
*cries*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:56, Reply)

Damn
I nearly studied marine biology at uni.

I know what you mean about the EA, can't say I ever enjoyed dealing with them in the past.
(Errorist, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:59, Reply)

TGB
Don't be cruel.
We don't need to inflict our pain on others.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:59, Reply)

It's a good way to get builders to stop harassing you though
I see you're not wearing a hard hat, can I please see the copy of the risk assessment and subsequent written conformation that you are not required to wear them. Also while I am here how long are you working on this project? Looks like it will be over 30 days so you can bring me a copy of the F10 as well. *grins*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:04, Reply)

I've not actually ever been hassled by builders...
Surprising that...
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:19, Reply)

Maybe because you are scowling all the time?
:p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:32, Reply)

Actually,
I think you'll find I frown.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:35, Reply)

How about
The National Trust?

If you want a change but still want to work outdoors, try window cleaning. It's better than you'd think, not dangerous if you're careful and the money is pretty bloody good.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:38, Reply)

There's even a job in Mongolia - endless opportunity for chuckling away to yourself:
www.oilcareers.com/content/jobsearch/job_search.asp?topCat1=6&subCat1=0&Country=&JobType=&orderby=JobAd.DateExtended+DESC&SearchType=&SearchTerms=&advancedSearch=0&submit=Search
(Oil Slick, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:13, Reply)

Think about what you wanted to be when you were a kid.
Or think about what you'd really like to do.

The big hurdle of course is lack of pervious experience. If it's something you love doing, start a project of your own in a similar field. When you've finished it, you've got something solid for when you start applying for jobs. That's how I got into the industry I ended up in.

I should warn you though that even if you are in your ideal industry, the workload can be pretty intense sometimes so you have to love doing it, rather than just do it because you think it's cool.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 17:50, Reply)