This QOTW has gotten too much for me.
Didn't want to spoil to the QOTW in the QOTW though so thought being a party pooper here would be more appropriate.

Broke up with my girlfriend on Tuesday. Absolutely thought she'd be the person I spent the rest of my life with.

The reason for our break up was that we need to spend more time concentrating on ourselves at the moment and we were starting to put strain on our relationship by not doing that. The last thing either of us wanted was to risk losing each other completely.

I'm really struggling to get to grips with the idea of just being friends even though I know it's for the best and is absolutely and completely necessary for both of our sakes.

The idea that things aren't going to work out in the future is incomprehensible to me at the moment yet I know I need to get it into my head that we're just friends (and I need to try and let go of the hope we'll get back together in the future even though I'm currently convinced we will) else I'll never achieve what I need to achieve and I'll also hinder her too.

I think what hurts so much is that this has nothing to do with how we feel or personal differences or anything like that. It's just a combination of both our personal crappy situations at the moment.

If she'd turned round and said she didn't feel the same way anymore this would be so much easier to deal with. I could just admit that my expectation of where our relationship would go were wrong and (with difficulty) move on. This is just a horrible head fuck.

Apologies for length, gloom and rambling. Just needed to express it in some form and I've already spoken to my good mates about it so don't want to become a bore to them.
( Captain V, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 12:37, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I think I know what you mean.
It's the uncertainty of it all that's getting to you.

Splitting up like this must be awful with no clear definition of what will happen in the future.

Good luck.
( girlinthehole, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 13:34, Reply)

Yea pretty much
Doing a bit of a mind fart has helped a bit though.

Thanks for the good luck.
( Captain V, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 13:56, Reply)

hang in there
That sounds really awful and unfair. Sometimes "staying friends" is the hardest thing to do - twisting the knife and all that. Huge respect to you for trying it - I wish you well.

*hugs*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 14:05, Reply)

As you say, it's very knife twisty
It's going to be very hard for both of us but we mean too much to each other to take the easy path of just disappearing from each others' lives completely - That's even more an alien concept to me than the current situation.

On the bright side it has given me a massive kick up the arse and caused me to think about myself a lot more. I've already made what I feel is some pretty decent progress in sorting myself out. Woo!

I just hope, for her sake, she manages to do the same. She's the most amazing person I know and deserves to have her current personal situation behind her. If it takes us being just friends to catalyze that process for us both then it's for the best - so long as we stay friends.

You know what, I think I'm starting to turn a corner here.
( Captain V, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 14:27, Reply)

Take it one day at a time
*hugs*

Sometimes you need time apart to grow together.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 19:11, Reply)

Have a getlemanly handshake
As the Eels eloquently put it it "It's a motherfucker". Things may be bleak but you'll surprise yourself - You'll come through it.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 21:34, Reply)

I've been there
and know how shit it is. You'll get through it though. Have a hug for the meantime though.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 22:37, Reply)

Thanks guys
Starting to feel a bit better about it now. Had a bit too much to drink last night though which didn't work out too well. Think I need to stay away from that for a little while. Ho hum.
( Captain V, Mon 1 Sep 2008, 10:25, Reply)