my brother comes up with all sorts of excuses to get 5 mins of alone time
his wife and kids think their local branch of barclays is the most inept place staffed with retards (they may well be right) as he is always "at the bank", ie in a coffee shop.

hence my niece announcing to me that "daddy's poos don't smell." i was a bit nonplussed. she insisted that if you go into the bathroom when daddy has been in there for a long poo, it doesn't smell. TOTALLY BUSTED.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 10:17, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

My greenhouse nightly watering is 10 mins of total silence
Fucking excellent!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 10:18, Reply)

there is no better form of contraception
than other people's kids
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 10:18, Reply)

Apart from a hysterectomy

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 10:20, Reply)

I find other peoples kids a little uncomftable to wear prior to sex

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 10:21, Reply)