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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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mistaspakkaman's big day out at the b3tabash
Here it is at last, my belated account of the Saturday 23rd August QOTW bash.

With just an hour to go before the start of the biggest b3ta-bash ever, I used my friend's Internet connection to log into b3ta. Such was my addiction I needed to check to see if anyone Gazzed me their mobile numbers. A few new phone-book entries and QOTW OT posts later, I was off.

The friend I was staying at suggested I take the bus to Victoria station and not bother with any fancy navigation that involved me getting off at an earlier stop. But I liked the challenge. Armed with a printed-out map, I spotted a bus stop with a familiar-street name, got off, and quickly found the way to the pub. It was a well-hidden pub in the quiet back streets of central-London, but it was not hidden enough for me.

With my feeling of pre-bash nerves beginning to rise, I walked inside. I looked around. It was very quiet, and with plenty of space to sit down. The pub had just the right ambience to host a get-together. There were the odd few people dotted around - some sitting on their own, and some in small groups. None of them looked like b3tans – they looked too old. I realised that I was the first to arrive.


It was 1:20pm. Contrary to what the website said, there was no food being served. It turned out that they only did food on weekdays. My over-eagerness to try out some fancy navigating meant that I had missed Victoria station and thus, my only chance to grab something to eat. I just settled for a packet of crisps and hoped it would keep my stomach lined until some of us decided to go out and get some food. Also got my first pint in while waiting.

The pub was very cosy and my nerves soon calmed down. Realising that I was first, I decided to leave a clue to let people know I was 'in da house' in case nobody recognised me (I'm not sure if anyone found it). Still nobody I recognised. Time to do some texting. While half way through my b3tan phone-book entries, I got a call from Ancrenne. She and Kaol had just arrived at Victoria Station and needed some help getting there. Using my printed out map, I told them what street to turn left at, and wished them the best of luck.

Someone then came up to me and said "Are you from b3ta?" It was Big Girl's Blouse. At last, the bash could begin. We got chatting for a bit, and then the others started gradually dribbling in. Because of my last minute asking for phone-numbers, I sort of ended up being a relay for people getting lost and announcing they'd be late. Got another phone call from Ancrenne. Turned out she and Kaol had gone just a bit too far (they had reached the river) so had to navigate them back.

More people were arriving. Some were instantly recognisable (e.g. Chickenlady), whereas some I only recognised by who they came with (e.g. PJM). I found that I was not one of the instantly recognisable ones, so when asking for names, I quickly got into the habit of saying "I'm <mistaspakkaman> AKA mistaspakkaman". This was getting a bit repetitive so I changed my introduction a bit; instead saying "I'm mistaspakkaman AKA <mistaspakkaman>". It turned out that I had made a good choice of username. I originally chose it because I registered an account just to post my first QOTW post and chose it because I couldn’t think of anything better, but it stuck with me and have grown fond of it, and now realise it's liked by the real-world b3ta masses.

Things were flowing smoothly, and I was talking freely amongst the circle of b3tans that had moulded itself round the table. One thing I quickly became good at was the dramatic pause. I knew just when to cerate a bit of suspense with a well-timed pause. "I was showing my friend some pictures of my..." I said. Before I could say "My trip to Chernobyl", Kaol interjected "my cock". I thought I could deliberately do a pause at just the right moment to set people up for lowering the tone (although in hindsight, I don't think I paused that long).

It wasn't long before our circle reached the critical mass where it was no longer possible to have a single conversation without people falling by the sidelines. The circle soon split up into something that resembled the Olympic logo. I was on the edge of things so soon fell out of the main conversation.

At first, people would just occasionally go out to smoke, but soon, there was a permanent presence outside. Being a non-smoker, I stayed in most of the time (I only remembered being outside for a bit during daylight when I saw the photos). If this trend continues into the winter b3ta-bashes, I'll have to find my squirty comedy-flower to discourage the smokers and make sure we were all inside.

It was at this point that my memory gets a bit hazy. I don't think I forgot much - it's just that time seemed to pass very quick. Maybe it just passes too quickly when in the company of b3tans. Or maybe my memory-loss was greater than I had imagined.

Someone (can't remember who) brought in an etch-a-sketch. At first, we posed for pictures with our usernames written out, but soon, the etch-a-sketch ended up serving the purpose it was built for - drawing CDCs. An etch-a-sketch only lets you draw in one colour so we couldn't use pink for our cocks. This quickly became tedious so we switched to the CDF instead. It was there that I discovered a shocking truth - most of the female b3tans have never looked at themselves in the mirror! I'm pretty sure the gap between the legs extends to the hairy bit.

And so, I had another chance to use the dramatic pause. I went over to Grandmasterfluffles and said, "I heard you..." This caused her to look worried for a bit until I said "got your black belt in Tae-Kwondo". The discussion on martial arts didn't last very long, and soon, we were talking about dire-rear, periods and other sanitary mishaps (not to mention sanity mishaps).

The Bitter was going down pint by pint. At this time, my memory starts to fail me, so I'll just use bullet-points.

· Captain Placid was playing his guitar at one point.
· We finally went out for grub. By now, I was so drunk that I ordered a large Kebab.
· When Rakky left, I tried to say goodbye to her but was stopped by Ancrenne. It turned out that Rakky was the worse for the wear after too many drinks, but in my drunken mind, I did not realise this immediately. I had faith in Ancrenne's judgement, but for a moment, I thought, "What on Earth does Ancrenne think I'm going to do to poor Rakky?" to myself.
· Ancrenne told me I should spend 70% less time worrying.
· I only realised Tourette's exposed herself when I saw it on someone's camera’s LCD display.
· Despite having spent most of the time sat down in the pub, I was outside for quite a bit at the end of the night when it was at its coldest.
· Ancrenne was giving underwear advice to Wellgroomedwookiee's friend.
· Me and DiT ended up talking to a passing bunch of Frenchies in French.

And so, as the Goat of Fate reached the Goat-Lover of Doom, it was time to call it a night. Contrary to popular belief, I was still one of the last ones standing. We made our way to Victoria station where we split up and went our separate ways. I jumped on a bus that went straight to where my friend was staying and got back OK. Gotta love them London busses at night!

In conclusion, it was a good night. As with the previous bashes, I easily came out of my shell and chatted freely with people, but also like the previous bashes, I didn't really get my 'character' out. This may be because as b3tans, we're all characters, and I would be but one in a sea of characters. Also, Many of us had already seen my posts so already knew what my mind was capable of coming up with, so I felt no need to show off. Wasn't sure if I was just laid back, my mind was drifting away, or if it was shyness in another form. But I was certain that I fitted in with the b3ta posse.

There were so many people there that the sheer number of people who turned up overwhelmed me. I did not have the chance to properly talk to everyone who came.

I did get drunk, but not too drunk. I didn't do anything embarrassing or regretful, but I do wish I had remembered more. Meeting up with all you lovely people is not an experience I would want to be erased with a giant mind-rubber. Maybe it was just that time passed far too quickly!

The venue was an excellent choice. Quiet enough not to have the conversation drowned out but capable of accommodating a lively b3ta bash.

It was nice to finally attach a real person to a b3ta username and their stories. I got to know several people's real-world names but because of my drunkenness, have forgotten quite a few. Also, if I promised to show you my ... website and you've not seen it yet, Gaz me in case I've forgotten.

For those who didn't make it: * hugs *
To be honest, I was so overwhelmed by the mass of b3tans who did turn up that I wouldn't have had much time to speak to you anyway. But there are other bashes on the horizon. Do come to a bash - we look better in real-life than we do on the photos.

Length? Looks better coloured in pink.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:04, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
And here are some links to other people’s accounts
saturday's bash pics (the photos from Rotating Wobbly Hat)
Memories of Saturday night
Sunday's 'Home Sweet Home' thread

If there’s an account of the bash I’ve not linked to, let me know.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:06, Reply)
Remembered for a cock joke...
T'was a pleasure to meet you again!
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:50, Reply)
ah yes.
Whoever chose the venue must have been some kind of earth-bound angel. A pure genius. A truly wonderful person.

hint: it was meeeee!
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:55, Reply)
^ ^ ^ Not true!
They stopped Poof from playing guitar :(
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:59, Reply)
that's the only trouble with so many people congregating in one place with a shared objective - you just can't talk to everyone, no matter how much you want to.

Top bash though.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:00, Reply)
Top bashage! :)

I'd forgotten about the French, Spakka, although I think I was making it up as I went along, yours sounded proper. ;)
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:02, Reply)
I recognised mrspakkaman straight away.
Although the hair shocked me a little : )
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:08, Reply)
What DG said
So many people - so little time.

I too find I only remember parts of nights out when someone jogs my memory.

Perhaps I should have put up a photo of my hair before the bash. But glad my face is recognisable too.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:28, Reply)
what fun!
I really must get me to a bash one of these days.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:39, Reply)
On the whole, most people turned out to be more or less how I'd immagine them. Many were watered down versions of their b3ta persona - some more than others, but that's how I expected it to be.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:41, Reply)
Future QOTW bashes

Just a reminder, here is a list of up-coming QOTW bashes.

(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:48, Reply)
Sounds like fun was had by all
When I've completed the transition from mostly lurking to mostly not lurking I shall have to attend a bash.

In the mean time I shall continue to have my own solo bashes.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 20:39, Reply)

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