In my short career of post-divorce sitting-in-pubs-drinking-alone
I was in a (now defunct) pub on the outskirts of the city centre. I remember there being some sort of argument about a pool match which spilled over towards the table I was sitting at. I next remember waking up feeling like hammered shit in the cells at Little Park street nick.
Luckily no charges were pressed and the dental fees afterward were quite reasonable.
To this day I couldn't tell you what happened.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 15:58, 3 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

ouch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 16:00, Reply)

So all you can remember is pool table, hammered, cell?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 16:06, Reply)

'Golf clap'

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 16:08, Reply)

I can't believe you don't remember the love we shared.

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 16:13, Reply)

So THAT was the cause of the rash!

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 16:13, Reply)

Removing someones teeth for the sake of a gummer is a bit harsh though.

( Muns, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 16:16, Reply)

Just sheared the roots of Upper right 3&4
From the bruising I think I got stamped on
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 16:21, Reply)

Was there an extra £5 that he didn't have before?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 16:22, Reply)

Wouldn't have found it anyway
This was in the West Midlands Constabulary area so they (allegedly) went through the pockets/wallets/handbags of any drunk and 'relieved' them of any cash they might - or might not - have been carrying
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 16:24, Reply)