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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Your second home must be fucking shit then

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:33, 2 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
it has a swimming pool so you can do wees in that

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:34, Reply)
Why are you so nice when Swipe is so mean and makes me cry?

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:51, Reply)
you should hear what he says about you behind your back

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:53, Reply)
I bet its nice because he is nice!

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:55, Reply)
I say things like 'Phil seems like a nice bloke, I'd like to meet him' and when faced with a challenge I wonder aloud 'What would Phil do?' because you inspire me to be the best person I can

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:57, Reply)
I talk in my sleep.
Often I am awoken by an angry wife asking "Who the fuck is Meatsnake?!" Are you having an affair?!
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:03, Reply)
she is an ugly person, inside and out, where as i am made of love

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:56, Reply)
The thing is, beauty shines from within and I just know that if she was just a little bit nicer it would show and she would look beautiful
and less like the horrible hag what she is!
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:04, Reply)
There is a painting of her in the locked room that becomes more beautiful as she becomes more and more horrible in real life.
Sometimes I sit and stare at it for hours wondering where it all went wrong, I think it's probably something to do with that meat feast pizza.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:10, Reply)
it was made in devon, by civilised people who know how to eat scones and pasties properly
and shipped in...
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:35, Reply)
Just out of curiosity, what exactly do you think I use to power the device I am using to connect to the internet?
I'm pretty sure it requires electricity.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:40, Reply)
i think your sixth toe on your left foot has magical powers

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:42, Reply)
Magic powers to produce Electricity.
In Cornwall. My right foot provides the magic for the indoor plumbing.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:44, Reply)

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