It amazes me how culinarily spasticated some people can be.
I briefly lived from a bellend from lancashire that literally lived on bread. He polished off the butter in the fridge, when that ran out he shifted to Philadelphia and when that ran out I caught him spreading mayonnaise on toast.

The only time I saw him attempt to cook, he chose the largest diameter pan he could find, emptied a tin of beans into it and set the hob to full boar.

He was about 28 and hadn't just moved out either.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 10:56, 1 reply, 9 years ago)

he could just have scratched his chin and had scurvy on toast

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 10:59, Reply)

He used to block the toilet with amazing regularity.
As I often found when having my morning piss and nearly getting wet feet.

He was a fucking cunt.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 11:01, Reply)

dear god
imagine how stiff his bed sheets must have been :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 11:02, Reply)

He didn't use them.
I gave him a spare set when he moved in as he'd had to bail from his last place (which should've been a red flag, he was a friend of a friend).

When we cleared his stuff out they were still there folded on the chair I left them on for him
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 11:07, Reply)

fucking hell

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 11:09, Reply)

When my mate lived with him he shat the bed.
Apparently his duvet even had a comedy 'four fingered swipe' on it.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 11:14, Reply)