As the boss
should i make coffee or should i just accept the coffee that others make for me??

i hate making coffee but dont want my staff wiping their nobs around my coffee cup
( zulu eh?, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 8:54, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Get there first
and run your knob around the cups.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 9:21, Reply)

Depends...
Are you a cunt to everyone?
If you are, then you'll have a lot of extra DNA floating around.

If not, let 'em make your coffee.
Of course, if you're a wanker, you'll assume that everyone likes you anyway.
And end up full of misc body fluids.
( Cawl, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 9:39, Reply)

So pretty much what I said, DJ?
:p

*zips up jeans*
( Cawl, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 10:38, Reply)

if you have to ask,
chances are, you're a cunt. No offence.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 10:40, Reply)

thanks for the niceness baz
*sob*
( zulu eh?, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 11:19, Reply)

Task a flask to work instead.
Simple.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 12:30, Reply)

Zulu mate, you can't win
My boss buys us breakfast every friday morning. Full Irish, croissants, the works. We still call him a cunt behind his back.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 12:32, Reply)

Make your own.
One thing that always favorably impresses me in a boss is when they're willing to do the lousy tasks as well- making coffee, running copies, that sort of thing. It shows that they don't think that they're somehow superior to the rest of us.

If I have a boss who expects others to always make the coffee and do all the crap work that no one really wants to do, it tends to leave a bad taste in the mouth. I've been known to crop dust them for that...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 1 Oct 2008, 13:07, Reply)

Loon
Crop dust?
( zulu eh?, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 15:37, Reply)

Crop dusting
is when you rip loose a good fart just before you go by someone, so you trail bum gas all over them as you go without them hearing it.

It's a favorite game with waiters when they get an obnoxious table, especially a load of 30-50 year old women drinking cosmopolitans and chattering about their diets and what shoes to buy and generally acting like the Sex In The City twits. You notify the other waiters, and whenever they have the urge for a fart they do it just before reaching that table. If you really do it well you can get a fight going when they start blaming each other.

My favorite happened last year. I was on my way out of town and had to stop at an ATM to get cash. I got out of the car and found that there were two teen girls there chattering away about their plans for Saturday night, how they were going to go to this concert and Jason owes me so I'm gonna make him buy me a tee shirt and omigawd! and so on. Meanwhile they're not using the ATM, just standing there.

I had had my coffee that morning, and it was starting to have its usual effect on my intestines. So I quietly moved upwind of them and let out a big one that came from deep within and felt like live steam as it passed my sphincter. A few seconds later their eyes got big and they started frantically stabbing at the buttons of the ATM, then ran off as fast as their miniskirts would allow.

Best start of a Saturday, ever.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 1 Oct 2008, 15:51, Reply)