Strange stirrings in my loins
I've been feeling broody lately. A LOT.
What's a girl to do?
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 10:33, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Keep your hand on your ha'penny
it'll pass.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 24 Nov 2008, 10:34, Reply)

broody
buy some chickens
(bugboybeast, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 10:34, Reply)

*shrugs*
You could always go to a supermarket, (I find Asda works well, for some reason) and wait for a un-attentive mother to turn away for a little too long.

Swipe the child, give it a test run for a few days, then drop it off a bridge if it doesn't work out for you.
( Cawl, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 10:43, Reply)

Nooooooooooooooooooooo!
Go and find someone with kids and offer to look after them for a weekend. It will soon dampen those broody feelings.
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 10:45, Reply)

*sighs*
That's what I said, BGB.
Stop copying me :(
( Cawl, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 10:45, Reply)

Or it could go the other way
And Cherub could become another Josef Fritzl. Abduction is perhaps not always the best way.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 10:47, Reply)

@Kaol
I wasn't copying you.

I was re-iterating.
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 10:49, Reply)

Hmmm
Some nice ideas. You're all right, I should stop being so bloody silly and go out and ...

abduct someone elses.
The idea of being the new Josph Fritz does make some strange stirring in my loins.. brrrr*


*may not be true.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 10:50, Reply)

Bollocks you were!
*frowns*

I'm in favour of a Fritzl-basement.
Get digging!
( Cawl, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 10:51, Reply)

I used to live in a basement flat
And my landlord used to send his parents round to collect the rent. I do wonder in hindsight whether, if I'd stayed there any longer, it might have developed into a Fritzl-esque arrangement. And I really hope not. I mean, I'm all in favour of not having to pay rent, but at what cost?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 10:55, Reply)

@Kaol
Don't make me get all Auntie Blouse on your ass.

*Looks stern*


Edit - You can always have a kid later in life. Say when your 70. Lots of women are doing that now.
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 10:55, Reply)

Pffft!
I'm not scared!

Anyway, Apeface, I'll provide children to you for £200 a time.

EDIT: I mean steal and give, not inseminate.
( Cawl, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 10:59, Reply)

@Kaol
I was more excited when I thought it was inseminate.

I no longer want your poxy offer, meh.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 11:00, Reply)

Hey,
I didn't rule it out!
I just meant you wouldn't have to pay me £200 for the pleasure :p
( Cawl, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 11:01, Reply)

@Kaol
Of course we knew you didn't mean inseminate otherwise you'd be paying her.
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 11:01, Reply)

Ouch...
You nasty woman!
:p

Although, obviously you'd get a discount...
( Cawl, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 11:07, Reply)

Miaow!
BGB, i'm shocked and surprised!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 11:37, Reply)

I think
that BGB was just referring to my excellent and wondreous beauty, which is why you must pay. Pay with your life.


*ahem*. Sorry, got a bit overexcited.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 11:57, Reply)

My life?
*sighs*
Do I have to?

I've got... *checks pockets*
Er... £3.71, a knife and 19 Lucky Strikes.
( Cawl, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 12:03, Reply)

You could
Come to a bash and see just how much like kiddies we all act like.

That alone should put you off for life!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 13:24, Reply)

Pffft :p
I'm mature and sensible.
It's you old folks that're immature :p
( Cawl, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 13:55, Reply)

Yes Kaol
And we love it really!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 14:14, Reply)

I can honestly say
that having had kids so early in life was a double edged sword. I was 27 when my oldest was born, and almost 30 when the last one arrived. Having married a Catholic I listened to five years of whining about wanting to be pregnant before I gave in, then spent the remainder of my 20s and all of my 30s taking care of kids.

This means that it wasn't until about a year ago that I managed to even get outside of the continental US (Canada and Mexico don't count). I've never had the opportunity to take trips even around my own country, except to see family member or take the kids to Disney. I've never owned a new car, and for a lot of years every car I had was a kid-friendly wagon of some sort- no convertibles for me, nothing fun and zippy, just minivans and sedans. I never got the chance to be young and care-free.

On the other hand... well, I have my kids. I'm 45, and will be 48 when the youngest graduates and goes to college. I'll be fairly young at that point, and can be care-free then. Meanwhile I'm young and energetic enough to keep up with them, and have a much closer relationship with them than I did with my parents, both of whom were in their mid thirties when I was born. I can take my kids out and have fun with them as being almost adults- my daughter and I can go out to dinner together or go do things together much as I would do with an adult woman.

All I can tell you is that you need to be REALLY sure that you're ready to dedicate the next twenty years of your life to taking care of another person, possibly without another adult to help. If you get kids and discover that it's not what you really want to do, you can't back out of it. You're committed, unless you become one of those people who basically abandon their kids and let them become chavs.

Think long and hard on this. It's the most important decision you'll ever make.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 24 Nov 2008, 14:18, Reply)

@ herr doktor
Sadly, I'm one of those funny foreign B3ta-ers. Well, actually, I'm not, but I live in foreign climes and speak funny.

Anyone want to organise a bash in Spain? ¿qué?
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 14:20, Reply)

@TRL
Thanks for that. In all seriousness I am being all "aww, look at that" around kids recently. But for the very reasons you mention, I don't want to jump in both feet first.

My job requires a lot of travelling too and I wouldn't be able to do that having kids. It's hard enough leaving hubby and the fecking evil cats from hell without leaviny my own flesh and blood.

'ppreciate your experiences. I definitely need to give it some serious though. Hubby would do it tomorrow, but he's a sentimental fool :)
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 14:23, Reply)

It's good to have kids
if it's done at the right time and for the right reasons. I'm glad that I had mine early, as I have had the energy to keep up with them- most of my kids' friends have parents who are considerable older and stodgier than I am. I'm something of a rarity in that I keep in contact with what's current in music and society, ya know?

At the same time, I think we had them for the wrong reasons. Nurse Ratched was raised by a fanatical Catholic, as I've mentioned, so she was programmed early on to think that the key to life was to get married, buy a house and start pumping out babies as soon as possible. She bought into the whole Barbie and Ken/Brady Bunch illusion of how idyllic life would be with a house and kids and a dog.

The reality, of course, is sleep interrupted by small children, getting up early on Saturdays, cleaning shit off someone else before you've even had coffee, cutting up someone else's food for about five years, not going to nice restaurants unless you have a baby sitter, huge amounts of laundry and dishes to be washed and a house to be cleaned in the few free moments you get while the kids are watching TV or something, having nothing fragile or sharp anywhere in the house unless it's locked away where you can guarantee that they can't reach it, and dealing with lots of colds and other minor illnesses that you too will get. It's a LOT of work, and generally involves having to put your needs second or third on the list. Odds are that your sex life will take a SERIOUS hit for a while, as you'll be tired and have to be careful not to wake the kids- it will no longer be spontaneous, but will have to be scheduled and will detract from your already minimal sleep.

Many people get into the situation, realize that it's really not as easy and fun and sweet as they show you on TV and feel cheated and disillusioned. Sometimes they take it out on their spouse. Sometimes they turn to drink. Sometimes they go out and find someone else to take care of their needs and make them feel young and sexy again.

I blame much of the increase in divorce rates on the influence of TV sitcoms and the marketing that goes with Barbie dolls and such. *shrug* People are inundated with that sort of imagery as children and have an utterly unrealistic view of what parenthood is really like, get disillusioned when they find out the reality, and things go deeply bad.

Like I said before- think long and hard before you make any decisions.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 24 Nov 2008, 14:56, Reply)

Hmmmm
Have 'em early. I have 2 daughters of 23 and 21. I'm 48. It's kinda cool that I can go out for a drink with my kids and that they actually invite me to parties (as do their friends!). My bro has 4 kids, the eldest is in his 30's. My bro is a mere 56 (although I refer to his age as "pushing 60").

YMMV
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 15:52, Reply)

Both TLR and Captain Placid
have touched on something that worries me - I don't want to be old when my kids are teenagers.

I'm 28 now, hubby is 35. I want him to be able to run around with him / her and play footy etc. I don't want to be one of those mams who says things like "Who are these then?" when some new group is on the "wireless".

At the same time, I want to be able to still enjoy my yoof... What a dilemma!
Some good advice on here though, people.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 15:56, Reply)

For what it's worth
I would say that having them before you hit 35 is best- being in your mid 50s when your kid graduates seems a bit rough to me.

I didn't know your age. I'd say that by now you're probably stable enough in yourself to be able to handle it- the ones that worry me are the ones who have babies before they're 25. At that point you're not much beyond being a kid yourself, and really aren't ready for kids of your own.

It's up to the individual, of course. I don't know how stable you are with Mr. Cherub, for instance, so I really can't advise you beyond what I said above about thinking long and hard first. But the fact that you already seem to be doing just that is good.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 24 Nov 2008, 16:12, Reply)

@TLR
Thanks :)

And I can tell you that Mr. Cherub and I are as stable as a horse's house. We be in teh love very muchly and can make you sick with it.
We've already had "the" conversation about kids, and it's just a case of taking the plunge now I guess!
I'll let you know how it goes ;)
Signing off, Apeface xxxxxx
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 16:29, Reply)