Tell the Internet
it cares.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:12, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sometimes
late at night, when I'm trying to get to sleep, I swear I can hear the spiders mating.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:19, Reply)

Dear Interwebnet,
Sometimes I touch myself in front of my open fridge.

Is this normal?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:56, Reply)

It would be a damn site stranger behind your fridge.
.
( girlinthehole, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:57, Reply)

Dear Internet
I'm a fridge and people touch themselves in front of me. I feel like there is no one I can tell. Should I start a FB group?
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 17:11, Reply)

Dear internet,
I'm a 44-year-old single man who still lives with his mother.
I don't have much of a social life, so I signed up to a popular website. Online.
My ego boosted by self-congratulatory comments, I managed to gain a following of sycophantic cronies who masturbated themselves to a frothy mess over my hilariously cutting comments.
I've suddenly realised that my life is a fucking waste of time, and I'm having feelings of self-doubt.
What should I do?
( Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 17:16, Reply)

This is very subtle.
I wonder who you could mean.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 17:59, Reply)

Dear Self Doubter (44),
Everyone comes to a time in their life where they don't feel they fit with their 'gang' any more. It's all part of growing up to realise that gangs aren't important, only the friends within that gang.

Try listening to your friends instead of talking, just for a little while. Make some self-deprecating jokes here and there. Ask your friends' advice on things. In short, immerse yourself in their company instead of trying to lord it over them and, above all else, stop being a pompous fag.

You'll learn to love life again.

Hugs and kisses,
The Internet
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 17:22, Reply)

@bgb
It would... you haven't seen behind my fridge!

Or have you..?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 17:24, Reply)

I would tell the internet...
But I don't care.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 20:34, Reply)