What the fuck...
Ive just been out to meet some friends. Who do I spy in the corner?

MY boyfriend with some hussy who is clearly younger than me straddling him.

I had a good mind to beat the pair of them to the ground, however, I left with my dignity. I will fucking kill him when I get my hands on him though.
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:10, 35 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

can i be of
ashistance?
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:19, Reply)

That depends?
Are you good at attacking people with bricks?
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:21, Reply)

i'm shcottish my dear
we have no need of such frippery

would you like me to shtab him in the shpleen with a parker pen
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:23, Reply)

Anything you would see as a fitting punishment
Im so sad :(
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:24, Reply)

fitting punishment
remove yourself from him

you deserve better
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:26, Reply)

Ive only ever
had 2 boyfriends in my life and its happened twice now.
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:27, Reply)

if you really want to fuck him up ask him how
he got on with (describe bint) that you set him up with to test him

watch him gasp for air like a goldfish on the carpet
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:28, Reply)

i am prepared to bet it was his cousin/sister/old family friend/former spouse
i thought this only happened in situation comedy
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:30, Reply)

two things
young men are like that

so are old men

(what you need to do is address your self esteem and realise that cunts are easy to find - decent ones need women who demand better)

demand better

i'm sorry your sad though, its not nice
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:31, Reply)

Oh no..
He saw me! Hes ignoring me now.

I feel silly. I must give off some sort of chemical that means cheat on me as much as you like.
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:32, Reply)

right this is IMPORTANT
do and say nothing now

put the mobile away

send no text

give it the overnight test
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:35, Reply)

Someone told me you needed some legs broken
I take payment in the form of the folding stuff only.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:39, Reply)

Well
I already sent him a text asking him if he really thought I was that stupid. I might just get drunk. Work will be more entertaining that way tomorrow
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:39, Reply)

ah
bex is here

listen well young space - you are in safe hands. this woman knows how to remove testicles
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:40, Reply)

Hooray
Do you need his address helpful lady?
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:41, Reply)

he could be killed,if you could afford it
but not at my prices you couldn't
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:41, Reply)

I dont want to do it myself
Im too nice to go to jail
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:42, Reply)

sadly i must go
its is 4:41 here and i am but buggered

seriously though

put the mobile away

text NOTHING

switch it off
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:42, Reply)

Thank you for your guidance Mr Spimf
:) sleep tight
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:44, Reply)

spimfs right.
stop texting.have some warm milk.then call my number and give me his name and location.i'll give you the forwarding address for my money later.
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:45, Reply)

Orrrr
I could post his address on here...

1st one to finish him wins a substantial cash prize (£20)

Wadda ya say?
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:46, Reply)

do you know how expensive an old-fashioned killin' is?

(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:47, Reply)

its uncle spimf my dear
dinnae worry

19 year olds go like hotcakes

dump him

find someone who likes hotcakes*

xx

*who doesnt like hotcakes

:)
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:48, Reply)

I'll foot the bill as well then?
Back in my day all you needed was a big stick anda strong arm.


Thank you uncle spimf :)
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:50, Reply)

mate,mate,dear friend
i have to pay off coppers,give a cut to the boss,pay admin fees,provide only the best ammunition and weaponry,pay the guy who does the job and pay for a complete coverup afterwards.
this is not just any contract killing...this is Marks and spencers contract killing.
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:54, Reply)

So I suppose I'll be paying M&S prices then
Do I get my 2.5% vat reduction as well?
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:55, Reply)

you can have ten percent reduction if it makes you happy

(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Fri 12 Dec 2008, 1:10, Reply)

Spimf was right
Don't text, don't call. I'd cut him out. ompletely though. (Caught my ex in april... naked photos on his phone whilst we were sitting together on the sofa. Cunt)

I'm still mad at him, but i stopped talking to him, moved house, deleted his and all his friend and family no's, barred thm from my phone and to his knowledge i compltely refuse to aknowledg his existance. And I know it kills him. Drives him mental that I refuse to have anything to do with him at all. :)
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 1:31, Reply)

Sorry to hear
but at least you know the truth

hurts i know,


Anyone up for a good lynching??

If it takes your fancy, all his details into a few dodgy websites should make you feel better. Listen to spimf, then ignore the fucker till hell freezes over
(Stringy, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 2:02, Reply)

Write His Mobile Number
On every fiver, tenner and twenty that comes into your possession.

Add some thing like:

"Free blow-jobs to men with big cocks in "

Spend, repeat ad nasueum.

Works for me...

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 4:49, Reply)

Left with dignity?
Left calmly after sharing a full soda syphon between them. That's my kinda dignity.

Excise the twunt from your life.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:08, Reply)

Works for you Legless?
You like big cocks and blowjobs?

Awesome!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:26, Reply)

...
I'm a thirty year old bloke. Every single person I have met seems to have cheated on their partner at some point.

I'm talking best friends, colleagues, girlfriends, everyone. I could probably name five people that I know well that haven't cheated at some point.

I don't understand anyone any more.
( SeasonTicketless is too often the statue, and rarely the pigeon., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:32, Reply)

Gutted,
Only joking, umm don't jump to any conclusions it may have been harmless (although probably not).

If it wasn't plenty of fish in the sea and all that.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:04, Reply)

Most men cheat
What's a shame is being so brazen about it.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:35, Reply)