Ok
I work in a nice office, quietish most of the day but good banter between us IT types and the game women in HR who like a bit of an argument. We have consultants in often and they work around us on spare desks most days. Today we got a new one, had I have to say, he looks like a loser. Description:

About 26, long hair down to his waist, and its thin nasty stuff that has no body so baaad central parting. Very loose baggy shirt that is 10% tucked in, baggy black 'work' trousers, and one of those stupid long key chains that hangs from a trouser pocket. Big heavy black shoes.

Now I am the last person to judge on appearance generally, but I'm surprised as to how embarrassed I am for him today. Combine that with a far too loud voice, a mobile that chirps every 5 minutes loudly with every incoming mail or text, and a general awkwardness in the room, I want to kill him. Well mainly, I keep thinking "fucking loser".

I am still surprised about how I feel about this.

It doesnt help either that, he's me - but from 1991.

But seriously. Looooooooooooser.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 10:56, 13 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Have you
told him that you think these things about him? I think he needs telling.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 12:48, Reply)

let's kill him
hm ?hm????hmmmmm?
thought so.
i'll get the mallet and the sack.
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Tue 20 Jan 2009, 13:07, Reply)

all very good answers
he's now eating crisps loudly. He has spilt crumbs all over himself. I need more violent murder methods.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 13:13, Reply)

the price of death has dropped in line with the recession.
it's now very cheap.please give me a commission!i have an itchy trigger finger.
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Tue 20 Jan 2009, 13:20, Reply)

I agree with Becky
You should tell him, but not in any kind of a subtle way.

Throw him a 'You're a ridiculous loser' party in the office. Invite his family and friends, and ask them all to tell him one at a time how much of a disappointment he is.

Then set fire to his cock.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 13:20, Reply)

Look out for...
1) The copy of White Dwarf in his bag - if he doesn't know an Ork from a Space Marine, I'm a dutchman.

2) The copy of MicroMart, complete with well-thumbed adverts and ringed prices as he attempts to spec-up his dream PC. He'll also have the fastest internet connection money can buy. In his mum's house. Where he lives. So he can download *all* the pr0n in the world.

3) Dandruff. He'll have it. Along with a faint whiff of Vosene and body odour...

4) the German Army parka jacket, the Para boots or the army surplus satchel/bag - he's bound to have one of these things. Along with a Leatherman tool on his belt (probably a fake).

If he has any or all of these traits, combined with the annoying personal habits and ailure to turn down his hone, etc, then I believe it is legal to beat him to death with his own keyboard...
(Chad, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 13:26, Reply)

I like the idea of a "you're a ridiculous loser" party
might throw a couple of those myself
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 13:30, Reply)

Awww, but Vipros
You're not a ridiculous loser. I love you.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 13:32, Reply)

the only way I'm a ridiculous loser
is that I never lose, thus making the title ridiculous, well, ridiculous!

I meant throwing them for others, as well you know :-P
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 13:48, Reply)

Of course you are
I could do with one myself.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 13:53, Reply)

I bet
He's got some Battlestar Galactica artwork.
It won't be as good as yours though. ;o)
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Jan 2009, 14:16, Reply)

What beckyjsbx andf Bert Monkeysex said
If you just try and give hints, he may not take them. People like that don't respond well to subtlety.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 19:29, Reply)

I love the way so many of these traits are very, very specific
almost as if the people posting them (and therefore most of b3ta's members) know all about them....because they carry most of these traits.

Let's face it folks...we're losers.


:D
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 23:00, Reply)