Just to lower the tone a little...
I've just got back from my afternoon shit and quite frankly I'm a little disturbed and also a little pleased with myself.

You see this turd has had quite a while to ferment as I've been stuck in a meeting, throughout which I could feel it bubbling in my gut, subliming from solid shit to a shity gas.

I thought I was going to have to loosen my belt at one point as the gas build increased.

I finally escaped the tedium of the finance meeting and gratefully plonked myself on the porcelaine throne.

To say I was ready to go would be an understaement and as soon as my arse cheeks made first contact with the seat my dirty tea towl holder failed like a paper sluice gate.

Unfortunatley the fermentation period had created a lot of gas, and this gas evidently was stuck above my brown torpedo as such it fired the mersey trout out like some kind of massive shit loaded paintball gun.

This produced a splash of such epic proportions that it drenched my brown button, sluiced my twig and berries and also managed to spill out under the seat into my trousers.

It took me ten minutes to dry the fuckers.

If I had three wishes right now one of them would be to have that poo again, but from the top of my building with my arse elevated to see if I could have shot the brown ordinance across the road.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 17:42, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

D6

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 17:47, Reply)

D6?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 17:48, Reply)

I sunk your battleship!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 18:00, Reply)

It is when I read stories such as this
that I am reminded of doodie.com

Go on, you know you want to.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Thu 5 Feb 2009, 18:24, Reply)

I laughed out loud
for some time.

Elegantly done, sir!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 18:25, Reply)

What is it with boys and poo?
I just don't get it.
( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 18:49, Reply)