Further to DG's post about that 13 year old father
it now says that he's taking a DNA test due to the promiscuous habits of the mother, Slagathor.

The original child-father said "Other stupid boys are lying, saying bad things, like they've slept with her too. But I'm the only boyfriend she has had. We've been together for two years so I must be the dad." Ahhh the naivety of youth.

Also, she's got a face like a tumour, how come she gets all the action?!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 13:35, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Tumors are hot.
Jade's giving me the dribbly cock right now.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 13:37, Reply)

Gross.
She looks like a hippo foetus. Albeit now a bald cancerous hippo foetus. Isn't there a fetish name for people who like diseased people?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 13:41, Reply)

I sort of regret posting that
but fuck it :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 13:43, Reply)

Slagathor
I think this is possibly the best word ever.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Who would want to shag that????

She looks like a younger version of Shannon Matthews' mum Karen and will probably end up in a similar state, having multiple kids by multiple fathers.
( Stu71 ....bad money dies, I love the scene, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 13:48, Reply)

Awww, so cute
My family is my mummy and my daddy and my other daddy and my slagathor. I love my mummy and my daddies but I love my slagathor best because she touches my willy and makes the tickly weewee come out.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 13:51, Reply)

regardless of who is the father
that baby should taken from them, and they should be given the thrashing of a lifetime, and then sterilised.

they clearly aren't going to of any use to society, so why let them reproduce/not suffer a thorough kicking.

the "father" looks like he's about 6. when he's my age he will have a 15 year old kid...and will probably have been fucking them for 3 years...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 13:54, Reply)

which brings us on to my favourite* football song:
Your mum's your dad
Your dad's your mum
You're interbred
You (insert name of morally questionable town here) scum.

*the only one I know the words to
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:04, Reply)

I'm with Vipros on this
Unfortunately the European Court of Human Rights would probably think otherwise.

And the reason she's getting all the action? Well undoubtedly she has a face like a melted welly, but she's evidently no stranger to opening her legs to all and sundry.

I imagine she's got a fanny like a bill poster's bucket.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:10, Reply)

In your boro slums
In your boro slums

You rifle the dustbins for something to eat
you find some old dogshit and think its a treat

In your boro slums

you sleep with your sister you sleep with your mum
you finger your granny for some bit of fun

In your boro slums
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:12, Reply)

@ K2K6
I thought the phrase was 'fanny like a melted welly', not face! Unless you have a face that's just as unappealing and disproportionate as your fanny, but then you would just be called fannyface.

Wait, I've confused myself.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:18, Reply)

I wonder if she has a sister?
I'm going through a barren spell at the moment.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:24, Reply)

13 year old dad...
...I took one look at him and doubt he's got the prerequisite bullets in the magazine to do the job.

Now all manner of proto chavs are trying to clamber on board the media express to fame and fortune as fast as they clambered onto the underage temptress herself…

…he wouldn't be the first chap to have traded off a lady’s agreeable aesthetics against her willingness to lie on her back with her knees in her hair, would he?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:27, Reply)

They say everyone's the same height lying down, but
it must have been like a duckling trying to climb on top of a manatee.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:32, Reply)

@Kitty
No, it's always been 'face' in my parlance.

The alternative is 'a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle', which is on of my all time favourites.

Edit - the same height lying down? Not my mate's ex wife. He had to turn off the light when they had sex so he didn't burn his arse on the bulb.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:33, Reply)

@kitty
Brilliant analogy. I like.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:34, Reply)

Haha
that's true, my ex was 6'5" and I was stuck looking at his sparse chest hair for the duration. Luckily that wasn't long, badum tish!

@PJM, why thank you kind sir
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:40, Reply)

This is the correct response.
www.b3ta.com/board/9190864
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:58, Reply)

I can't wait
He's going to be a right fucking tosser when he finds out he's been cuckolded by some joyrider. For the rest of his life he'll be known as the guy who everyone thought was the dad, but wasn't.

At the same time, if he wasn't such a moron, it could be the best break he's had in life. No doubt he'll have some bird up the Damien Duff withing the next 2 years though.
(knackerz is skinning up, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 2:01, Reply)