MrOli's (lame) question of the afternoon
With all the board wars, the rivalries, the slagging off, the pain, the suffering, the hsh, the nob gag threads, the drunken deep nob gagging and public laundry washing, the voting for the next question or challenge and being ignored, the shit challenges put up instead, the blood from the flamage running red down the threads, does anyone still believe in Rob?

Why does Rob let bad things happen to good B3tards? If you gaz Him, does He reply?

Do you believe you can get on to any Best Of pages without believing in Rob? Can you still be a good B3tard without faith that He will look after you when your icon fades and your account is disabled?

Discuss.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:04, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

who is
this rob person you speak of? :p

If you mean the rob I'M thinking of - then yes I do believe in him.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:07, Reply)

Have you always believed in Rob?
Or did he touch you and show you the way when you were in most need?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:12, Reply)

I don't think he cares.
he's created a monster, and now lives in fear of one of the crazy loons who frequents the site getting him in the shit
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:16, Reply)

My faith did waver
And spent did I, 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness of Questione of the Weeke, until Lo, one day, I did find one of mine posts upon Ye Best Of Paige.

And I thank'd Him in mine hearte for his graciousnesse.

And Lo, as if the renew'd strength of mine beliefe did enrich him, the following weeke, I again found one of mine answers on Ye Best Of Paige. Not only this, but I wouldst fain, 'twas also featured in His weekly sermon (Ye Newes Lettere).

And I did rejoice in His name.

Though of late, I see no more mine posts upon Ye Best Of Paige, let alone His Weekly Sermon.

Cunt.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:18, Reply)

no mr oli
he gave me life. b3tan life that is.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:19, Reply)

Am I alone
in thinking this question is a teensy weensy bit gay?

My own answer has reminded my of Gaye Bykers on Acid. Anyone remember them? They were fucking hilarious and their Drill Your Own Hole full-length video was on a comedic par with Zodiac Mindwarp's Prime Mover video, replete with 'sexy' nuns and a tank.

*EDIT* clearly I am. *shrugs*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:23, Reply)

In the beginning was the word.
And the word was CUNT.
( girlinthehole, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Hehe
And Rob spake into the politeness of the dinner party, "Let there be CUNT!"

And lo, there was cunt.

If Rob made you and I in His image, did he also make Twunts? Does this mean I'm a Twunt too?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:41, Reply)

And Rob looked into the darkness and the CUNT and He said,
"Let there be shite!"

And there was /talk
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:42, Reply)

Was Rob's mum a virgin when He was born?
And is it true that He is His own father?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:54, Reply)

Genesis
In the beginning Rob created /board.

Now /board was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of Rob was hovering over the 40k recommended limit.

And Rob said, "Let there be shite," and there was /talk. Rob saw that the shite was full of wankers batting insults back and forth, and He separated the shite from all that is decent and holy. Rob called the shite "/talk," and the rest he called "/board." And there was evening, and there was "Photoshop this Echidna"—the first Image Challenge.

And Rob said, "Let there be an expanse between the boards to separate /board from /talk." So Rob made the expanse and separated the wankers under the expanse from the wankers who thought they were above it. And it was so. Rob called the expanse "/QotW." And there was Thursday evening, and there was "Worst Record Ever"—the first Question of the Week.

And Rob said, "Let the wankers deviating from the question be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear." And it was so. Rob called the dry ground "Off Topic," and the gathered wankers he called "Home Sweet Home." And Rob saw that it was good. And Bert did call it gay.

In theory, I could go on like this...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:01, Reply)

So Rob created gayers?

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:18, Reply)

Only if you assume that the word of Bert is reliable.
Depends how you interpret his passage.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:19, Reply)

...and lo
he appeared, wearing a hassock and making eyes at thine brethren.

'Behold!' He said, 'let there be bumming.'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:31, Reply)

i gazzed rob yesterday
he told me to speak to an even higher power

cr3
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:34, Reply)

I HATE
cr3. He's such a little twat.

I hate him, hate him, hate him, hate him, hate him, hate him, hate him.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:36, Reply)

Please elaborate.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:48, Reply)

SC, are you saying that there are deviants out there
misinterpreting the word of Rob? Taking his name in vain? Preaching to their sects that Rob's holiest of holy passages is gay?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:50, Reply)

He told me off
and then banned me for a week, just for being a little bit naughty. Compared to /talk I was positively saint-like, but he likes them, so he sucks their willies and lets them get away with it.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:52, Reply)

The passage that he calleth Off Topic
Has frequently been accused of harbouring those who may be gayers, those who may presuppose that other Passage of Rob are gay or built for gayers, and those who shouldst man the fuck up and grow them an pair.

Whilst Rob didst pass the Ten Commandments down unto cr3 from atop Mount Sinus in the form of The FAQ, those that we call n00bs frequently do ignore it. And there is still debate over certain passages, such as whether it is acceptable - let alone virtuous and true - to be a cunt on the interweb.

Edit: I do wonder what one has to do to get banned. I've seen some people acting like utter arsehats on here without being removed, yet some people disappear for unfathomable reasons. Clearly, Rob moves in mysterious ways. As does cr3sus.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:54, Reply)

I think
He needs cunting in the fuck.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:29, Reply)

So in this crazy, mixed up world of Rob and Cr3sus vs Bert,
Do you hear Bert's voice if you play "Whole of the Moon" backwards at 33rpm?

Has anyone ever tried this? Alone? In the dark? At 3am?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:50, Reply)

I've tried a lot of things,
backwards, alone and in the dark...possibly even at 33rpm, I wasn't measuring...but I didn't hear Bert's voice during any of them.

Not that I know what Bert's voice sounds like.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 17:24, Reply)

I'd like to testify!
I once was in darkness then lo, I accepted b3ta in my heart. I was a good b3tan for great swaths of time. I lurked as a newbie should lurk. I posted as my faith and strengh increased. Then, in my mature b3tanhood, I did manage best of a time or two.

But then I became a back slider. I am ashamed to admit, I looked at other websites. I read their content. I even, *gulp*, posted occasionally. I sinned and was unrepentant.

However, having been reaquainted with the Word of Rob through these posts. I am a born-again b3tan. I feel fresh and new. And now I must go out among the peoples of the world as any good born-againer would, and spread the gospel.

Hallelujah and amen!
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 18:54, Reply)

FWB.
I don't think you're American. I think you're just pretending like the Loon.
( girlinthehole, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 19:38, Reply)

Cr3?
Nice enough chap actually. Looks a bit like Seinfeld.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 19:51, Reply)