Morons
I was in Charleston, South Carolina, last week, and happened to be in a museum there, looking at a display on the native Americans and what they did before us Europeans turned up and wiped them out. Anyway, there was a timeline at the top of the display, going back as far as 12000 years ago (up to present day), and I had the jaw dropping pleasure/horror of overhearing a young boy turn to his father and say (in a BROAD Southern USA accent) 'But poppa, that can't be true, there wasn't a world 12000 years ago!'.

And his father replied 'Yeah, that's strange, it's only 2009 years old. Oh well, they must have got it wrong. It probably means 1200 years ago. Let's go and look at some guns.'

It was all I could do to keep my eyes from popping out in astonishment.

Just WTF.
( ascorbate, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:17, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I agree
They obviously added an extra zero by mistake.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:20, Reply)

um, yeah
these people *do exist*

America, fuck yeah!

*cringes*
( cackers, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:20, Reply)

*speechless*
So, only 2009 years old eh? Even if you buy into the whole thing, we are talking about it being 2009 AD.

Ffs.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:20, Reply)

Ayup, welcome to Jesusland.
I was on Skyline Drive last year at a pull-off and overheard a father tell his child, "Look at that tree! Isn't that cool? It's like a huge bonsai!"

/facepalm
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:21, Reply)

The mind truly boggles, eh?
There's a whole strain of people in all corners of the globe who seem to strive for and revel in wilful ignorance and see unquestioning support for blatant nonsense as some kind of badge of honour.

This is not limited to US fundamentalists, sadly - they're just the (extremely) visible tip of a cretinous iceberg that reaches to the earth's core....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:33, Reply)

On the bright side,
these sort of people are almost guaranteed to own at least one firearm.
(TheColonel, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:41, Reply)

fucking Bible Belt
As some of you know, I recently extricated my dear brother from darkest Oklahoma. Where there are no fucking signs on the highway, excepting the 10 commandments every 5 miles or so. Nice, eh?

So, yeah, we got lost on the way to his Dad's funeral. But at least we were fully aware of our sinning ways! I was in a cold sweat the whole time until the plane left the ground.
( cackers, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:46, Reply)

For that matter...
What were you doing in such reasonably close proximity to me without at least mentioning it?

*sliding glasses down nose and giving a stern look over the tops*

Then again, last weekend I was in an even more bizarre environment than that. I agreed to drive a friend to Atlantic City NJ in exchange for having a room there and the freedom to explore it at no real cost to myself. As my friend was giving a lecture at the time he could pull that off- he claimed I was his assistant.

I was surrounded by the epitome of bad taste, guido-ness in the extreme, as though they had mixed the cast of "Goodfellas", "The Sopranos" and "Death Becomes Her". The men all looked like they worship Pacino and the women looked like some sort of reanimated mannequins with eight inch stiletto heels.

Atlantic City is all of the world's tackiness gathered in one place, a whorl of depravity and polyester. It's filled with neon, loud music, casinos, psychosis and a patina of glamour over the decaying plasterboard and strange smells. It's a Limburger cheesecake. I spent the weekend with my eyeballs about ready to fall out with the twisted surreal horrors I witnessed.

I feckin' loved it. I'm just glad that I didn't have to pay for it.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:48, Reply)

Ha Ha! Dammit Loon, why do you have to live the other side of the atlantic?
I would love to buy you a drink and hear more of your stories.

Damn atlantic and its oceany ways.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:52, Reply)

sorries
the Oklahoma debacle was way back in the mists of time...last autumn.

uh, if you think Atlantic City is bad, come up to Brooklyn or Staten Island. Many are still living the dream here, and now that it's spring, I'll be seeing plenty of powder-blue suits, pink shirts, and shiny white dress shoes.

Doot-Doot-Do-Do! They are known as "cugines" The sort of fellas who honk their horns as they drive past me when I'm walking. It's their way of saying "Hi"!
( cackers, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 17:00, Reply)

I'd be scared to go anywhere in NJ
because of all the bad things The Bloodhound Gang tell me about it.
( djtrialprice, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 17:01, Reply)

*grin* I may make it back over there yet.
Okay, one quick snippet from Atlantic City...

We went out to dinner at Cuba Libre and managed to get a table on the second floor, back in an obscure corner. our table was against a railing overlooking the bar and some of the tables below.

We were discussing the surreal patrons around us- everything from what looked like a parody of the "Sex And The City" cast to a couple loaded with bling, the woman taking photos of her shoes repeatedly throughout the meal- when he about choked. "Good god, you just missed an amazing rack." He pointed out a blonde on the other side of the open area, on our floor, who was walking away.

She turned out to work there- we saw her walk back and forth multiple times. Across about fifty feet of space I could see enough that I didn't really care to get much closer. Hair the color of the inside of a banana peel, obviously the result of gallons of peroxide judging from the shade, Naugahyde skin the color of the seat of a Cadillac, boobs that stuck straight out in front of her like the prow of some ocean-going ship, all wrapped up in polyester so tight that were it nicked with a pin I think it would have been like pricking a water balloon- it would have whipped off of her instantly into a bundle the size of a grape.

By the end of the meal we had christened her as "The Rack".
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 22 Apr 2009, 17:09, Reply)

@ Loon
That Naugahyde goddess probably lives on my block.

But, New Jersey isn't all scary. There are some lovely towns, and beaches. If you go back, try Cape May, it's a beautiful Victorian resort town. Laid back, but you'll see some funny sights there as well, plenty of white shoes and orangey women.

Just watch out for the undertow, NJ's coast is very close to the Continental Shelf; it can be a bit rough. I almost got done in by a rip-tide last summer. *whew*
( cackers, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 17:29, Reply)

Actually, southern NJ is quite nice.
On our way home we stopped off at an Irish pub (sorta) that turned out to be very comfortable and pleasant, reminiscent of upstate NY. I was kinda sorry to have to leave.

The scariest part of all of it, though? These people think that this sort of lifestyle is normal. They see nothing remarkable about it. To them The Rack would have appeared to just be another woman taking pains with her appearance. They wouldn't see her as the grotesque parody she was to my eyes.

The other thing I noticed was that very damn few people there really appeared to be happy. They were either drunk and shouty or looking drawn and anxious. Considering that the rooms we stayed in normally go for about $250 a night, that's scary- why would they pay that much money to be miserable?

Another funny moment: along the boardwalk are benches spaced every twenty feet or so. I saw a couple standing by the railing, and the woman stood on top of the bench to see over the tops of the dunes- while standing five feet away from a walkway out to the beach.

The boardwalk was swarmed, but the sand was empty.

Bizarre.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 22 Apr 2009, 17:40, Reply)

Indeed!
Well, stilettos and sand don't exactly go together, do they? Because I'm sure she was wearing high heels. They all do, all the time!

Yeah, upstate NY is great for nice little pubs, esp. Catskills/Greene County. Good drinkers up there.

Southern NJ is quite 'Southern'. Got 'Mam' this and that a lot. Well, they were the last state in the North to relinquish slavery. Figures.
( cackers, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 17:48, Reply)

Actually, she was in sneakers.
I saw loads of people jogging and walking around in sneakers- this was in early afternoon- but damn few on the beach itself. I wandered the beach and found some nice shells, including some clam shells larger than my hand. Anywhere else they probably would have been picked up- but there was no one there to gather them other than me.

Nature is big and scary and Over There, as far as they were concerned. I had the beach to myself.

That said, I spent most of my time on the boardwalk too- because that's where the parade of mutants was. (Do a Google image search for guidos and you'll see what I was surrounded by.)

Having experienced it once, I don't think I need to ever return. At least I bought my friend a few beers to thank him for the experience.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 22 Apr 2009, 18:00, Reply)

@ Loon
Have you seen Gatlinburg, TN? It's possibly the most ghastly place in Eastern USA (and remember, I live in Georgia). Someone described it to me as being 'like Las Vegas for people with no taste'. I imagine Atlantic City is similar somehow.
( ascorbate, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 19:41, Reply)

Nope, haven't made it there yet.
I might just have to, though. Just to see it for myself.

Atlantic City is Vegas without the charm and subtle understated grace. The relationship between Vegas and Atlantic City is the same as the relationship between Mary Poppins and The Nanny.

Gatlinburg sounds like it might be competition. I think I need to investigate that.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 22 Apr 2009, 19:50, Reply)

well
it's particularly fine if you come at it from the smokies (i.e. from the south), which you wouldn't do - but driving out of that incredible wilderness into what can only be described as a hellhole was quite an experience.
( ascorbate, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 19:52, Reply)