Afternoon folks
How's it going?

I was walking by PC World near my work today and saw Gail Porter, she's tiny and small and bald as a coot!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 1 May 2009, 14:47, 43 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yet strangely horny
or so I think
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 1 May 2009, 14:48, Reply)

And very fucking loud and irritating on The Gadget show
I want Suzi back.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 1 May 2009, 14:48, Reply)

I still would.
Twice!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Fri 1 May 2009, 14:49, Reply)

Yes she is Spikey
Oh yes she is!

Becky, is Suzi not back yet? I've been avoiding it, Gail's Scottish accent just grates on me.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 1 May 2009, 14:51, Reply)

Ah, but you forget
She wouldn't speak with a mouth full of cock :0)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 1 May 2009, 14:52, Reply)

Not yet
I managed 2 minutes of the show this week before switching off as I can't stand her grating tones.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 1 May 2009, 14:52, Reply)

Er...
I hate to break it to you Dok, but you're Scottish too...
( Cawl, Fri 1 May 2009, 14:53, Reply)

but Dok's accent is
deep and soothing, Porter's high-pitched screechy voice is like cats on a black board
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 1 May 2009, 14:54, Reply)

Bert
I thought you'd gone off in a sulk because you have no friends to play with over the Bank Holiday.

I even offered to let you come to my house for a picnic, play on the swings, a go on the slide and a dig in the sandpit but ooooohhhhh nooo, you're far to good for that(implied by your silence).

I cried.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 1 May 2009, 14:56, Reply)

So basically
No-one else wants to do her?

Is she still married to that fella?
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Fri 1 May 2009, 14:57, Reply)

pickle
I was busy working for a few minutes.

Are you serious? You want me to come to your house? You do realise I'll try to sleep with your wife/pets?

Trev, I would, but I wouldn't be proud of it.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 1 May 2009, 14:58, Reply)

Yup Kaol
But she's from Edinburgh, all the women have squeeky scratchy voices up there. She would need to have cock in her gob just to shut her up!

Disco, I'd do her, I'd do her hard!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:01, Reply)

I'd be well proud of it.
I'd write my name on the top of her head and everything.

Remember when they put her arse on parliment? I damn near milmed my kecks!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:01, Reply)

I was serious
but now I'm upset and therefore retract my offer.

You'll have to stay lonely now, playing 'I will survive' and looking out of the window forlornly at everyone else enjoying themselves.

You'd quite like my cat as well - he's fluffy and has one eye.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:02, Reply)

I liked her before that photo
but that shoot made her look like a flat-chested little boy :C
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:03, Reply)

I honestly have no idea
What she sounds like.

Hmmm... I guess this is like me finding Surrey/Berkshire accents like needles down a blackboard.
( Cawl, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:03, Reply)

If you ask me
It's the best thing that's ever been on parliment!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:03, Reply)

Dok
I won't argue with that. It's probably not the biggest arse that's ever been in parliament though
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:06, Reply)

And you liked her even more afterwards?
I wonder if losing her hair made her dirtier?
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:07, Reply)

It probably made her more grateful

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:08, Reply)

They said the same
about Mo Mowlam.
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:09, Reply)

Mo Mowlam's never been grateful
My friend and I DP'd her while she was sucking off Lee Majors. Did she thank us? Did she fuck.

We all went home and cried ourselves to sleep. In slow motion and tracksuits
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:11, Reply)

And Phil Collins

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 1 May 2009, 15:13, Reply)

Yeah but in fairness
She's an easy lover!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:14, Reply)

I'd like to Buster front hole

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:15, Reply)

Yeah
But only if I could drum up the energy!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:17, Reply)

I'm digusted
by the Genesis of this thread!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:19, Reply)

Yes
It's a complete nursery cryme!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:21, Reply)

It wouldn't be
an invisible touch she'd get off me, I can tell ya.

Not very good at this am I?

EDIT

It'd be 'no jacket required' if I got her round my house, I can tell ya.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:22, Reply)

Then Monty
You could blame it on the Brazillian.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:23, Reply)

I'd Give her
A bit of the old Carpet Crawl, then we'd be Dancing with the Moonlit Knight, and afterward basking in the Afterglow.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:27, Reply)

You need to slow things down.
You can't hurry love you know!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:29, Reply)

But Trev
You know she loves the One Eyed Hound.


This can go on forever, and I'm not even a fan of Genesis!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:33, Reply)

That's true
But she'd change her mind when she found out I was the man with the horn!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:34, Reply)

All you lot are doing
is showing your extensive knowledge of Phil Collins' career
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:37, Reply)

She'd say
One More Night, but I'd have to tell her no, just Don't Lose My Number.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:39, Reply)

You say that like it's a bad thing
Rather than something that in all fairness deserves chemical castration!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:39, Reply)

chemical physical
I hated him because my Mum loved him, and even more so when he did the theme to Disney's Tarzan.

Trust your heart, let fate decide... Go fuck yourself Phil, you bald, Jesus-loving twat.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:45, Reply)

I hate him
Because my first sexual girlfriend dumped me after all my mates sang she's an easy lover to her!

I'd hate my mates but it's easier to hate Phil Collins.
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:51, Reply)

Imagine if it'd been the other way around
You'd have shagged Phil Collins, and hated your ex girlfriend.

That's far, far worse.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 1 May 2009, 15:57, Reply)

I wonder if Phil Collins
Hates my mates.
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Fri 1 May 2009, 16:00, Reply)

Maybe he does
are they Jewish?
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 1 May 2009, 16:10, Reply)

One's got a pretty big nose
And none of the girls have foreskins!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Fri 1 May 2009, 16:22, Reply)