Make me laugh guys.
I've had a horrible night at work. I've cried, eaten chocolate and I still feel like crap.

Make me laugh. please????
*bites lip*
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 2 May 2009, 14:09, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*huggles and cake*
My dad is currently attempting to put up a mirror in the bathroom. I'm keeping a tally of the swearing - so far 4 buggers, 5 shit and 1 cunt. I could play bingo with him. If you like, I will attempt to do the tango. With myself.

So, who do we need to go and set fire to?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Sat 2 May 2009, 14:15, Reply)

my boss
*sads*
he was just having a go at me *alll* night - pretty much from when I walked into the door. I'm hormonal which doesn't help cos my moods can spiral down viciously if I get people constantly attacking me at the same time.

I know I don't seem it but I am actually really chronically shy. I hate talking to people I don't know - I thought waitressing would be a good way to overcome this. My boss was pointing out every time I stuttered or said Um. He gives me the most incredulous looks whenever I ask questions and then yelled at me when I didn't ask a question cos I didn't want him to look at me so condescendingly.

Just really emotionally worn out tonight. Hence in need of laughter. Am on verge of tears again.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 2 May 2009, 14:27, Reply)

So, as I've been laid off...
I've been talking to my parents, who have offered help if I need it. During the conversation it came to light that my elderly aunt who lives not far from here died last month and no one told me of it.

However, it turns out that my uncle is trying to set his house right so it can be sold, and needs some help. Looks like I've chosen a good time to be unemployed.

So just imagine be there with my ancient uncle, sorting through about fifty years' accumulation of stuff, and smile because it's not you doing it. *grin*

On the other hand, I plan on going out to one of the old cemeteries today and getting rose cuttings to (hopefully) turn into bushes. Huzzah!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sat 2 May 2009, 14:30, Reply)

runs in naked
waves cock and balls around

runs off again blushing furiously

there are many alternatives of what you're all laughing at, none of them good for me
(Halfy By light alone, Sat 2 May 2009, 14:32, Reply)

thanks loon
sounds fun though. you could find out some family secrets or something.

maybe you had a conjoined twin orsomething you never knew of.

EDIT:
Halfy!!! *covers eyes and giggles*
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 2 May 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Even better, I suspect...
I'd bet I'll find teenage pics of my dad.

Nothing like a little downward comparison to make one feel better...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sat 2 May 2009, 14:35, Reply)

you're awesome loon
don't fret. you'll come out on top :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 2 May 2009, 14:46, Reply)

The question is
On top of what?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Sat 2 May 2009, 14:47, Reply)

VC
Your boss sounds like a twunt, I'm afraid to say, so sod him.

Next time he's having a go wait until the restaurant is really busy then tell him you're leaving for the UK and smile at him.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Sat 2 May 2009, 15:11, Reply)

I made up a racist geeky joke the other day
I'm a little ashamed of it and obviously can't tell anyone I actually know in person.

Fortunately when it's that offensive, there's always sickipedia.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 2 May 2009, 15:28, Reply)

My windows are open as it's hot outside
and all I can hear is some moaning and the slap of the guys balls as he's banging his girlfriend.
Depending on the finale, they may get a round of applause.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 2 May 2009, 16:06, Reply)

Yesterday at the zoo
I saw a kid pulling faces and banging on the glass at the lion's cage.
It was really annoying and the lion was getting irritated by the noise so it walked up to where the kid was and growled really angrily.
The kid stepped back in surprise and fell over a bush and everyone around it started laughing.

So the moral to this tale is, mean people will always end up being humiliated in the end.
( Mellicious is made of candy, Sat 2 May 2009, 16:44, Reply)

Bar har har har!
@ TLIC - nobody's done that to me for aaaaages.

Well done, that brought a smile even to my weary face.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 2 May 2009, 20:57, Reply)