Topic for today.
Bert is a deluded mong who sucks sailors willies.

Discuss. I want 100 words by monday.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 7 May 2009, 22:08, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

No he isn't.
He knows exactly what he's doing with the sailorcock. There's no delusion about it.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:11, Reply)

I haven't seen sailorcock
but I can only imagine it is even better than hitlercock.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:13, Reply)

Well,
It's full of seamen.
( Cawl, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:15, Reply)

but that's not what he's deluded about.
I know he enjoys giving the sailors the time of their lives.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 7 May 2009, 22:14, Reply)

Can I just write
"Bert sucks sailors' willies"
25 times?

I mean, it's not much a discussion, but it would make the word limit...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:14, Reply)

oh allright then.
but if you don't cross your "t"'s and dot your "i"'s, I'll make it 200 words.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 7 May 2009, 22:15, Reply)

Here's my contribution to the 100 words:
"Suppurating"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:22, Reply)

Bert slowly drooled his way along the dockside.
The stench of effluent and raw herring filling his hairy and misshapen nose, he blasted out in a hail of splather the phrase “Fursssstistyglip” to the muscular and tattooed gentleman of a naval persuasion standing in front of him.

“How much?” enquired the swaggering tar. “Glistball!” came the reply.

“The planet Mars approaches” was Bert’s last though as he dropped to his scabby knees towards salty oblivion.

Sorry, it's only 75. But I hope it is enough.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:31, Reply)

very good.
perhaps expand upon this? See me after class.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 7 May 2009, 22:36, Reply)

Something to do at work tomorrow.
Not like I'm actually going to be working.

May I ask what extra urricular activities you wish to undertake?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:38, Reply)

why english literature of course
comparitive texts to give you ideas of how to expand and enhance your writing.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 7 May 2009, 22:47, Reply)

Most excellent.
I have felt a distinct tightness in literary bounds recently.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:48, Reply)

Why am I suddenly thinking about Sailor Moon?
Wrong wrong wrong...
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 7 May 2009, 23:22, Reply)

You're obsessed, woman
seek help
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:08, Reply)

Fuck your Nazi Word Count.
Bert dropped to his knees, tears struggling down his stubbly, element-ravaged face. He knew he had met his nemesis. He was going to die; slowly, painfully in plain sight of a large crowd of Off-Topic witnesses.
“No, Don’t! Please!” He begged. And smiled a bit. Bert likes begging.
No sign of clemency showed on the face of his killer as she approached with menacing, purposeful steps. He started to shake as her strong capable hands pulled him to his feet.
“You know it’s for the best Bert. Things can only get worse if this isn’t done right.” She let go of him. Before he could collapse again Vampyrecat stepped close and gave Bert the biggest of fluffeh hugs and he came to death. The End.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:29, Reply)

So, am I dead now?

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:53, Reply)

Yes.
You are now Bert SexZombieMonkey. With added HitlerZombieCock.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 8 May 2009, 10:00, Reply)

Again?
I did this yeeeeears ago.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Porky
I'm so copy+pasting that to preserve the memory.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:48, Reply)

Thank you.
My work is done here.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:51, Reply)