Fucking Hippy Drippy Woman
Periodically, because I'm such a grumpy and intolerant bastard at work I get sent on courses about dealing with stress and 'Me and my emotions' and other such shit and I have another one tomorrow.

The person who runs it is this ridiculously shrill woman who asks us about our experience and when faced with our usual wall of outright apathy reels off into breathless tales of her bloke and her kid.

The last one we had, "Well, my greatest achievement since I've worked here was giving birth to my son." Sorry love, I disagree, presuming the pregnancy goes well, the birth is a biological inevitability. If you managed to hold the little fucker in, that would be a fucking achievement.

*ends rant*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:07, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

"Periodically...grumpy...intolerant...biological inevitability...rant"
Yes.

Every month.

now man the fuck up.

*huggles you, feeds you Galaxy and fetches you a hot water bottle*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:10, Reply)

If I get a huggle
then I'll man up.

Although manning up for a huggle isn't very manly....
Oh noes, I feel like Yossarian!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:17, Reply)

*huggles*
Ha, now what will you do?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:26, Reply)

Hmmmm
I manned up long eneough for the hug.
I have now had the hug, so.....

*strops*
*flounces*
*femmes*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:27, Reply)

"My greatest achievement at work is...
I haven't ripped off your head yet".

I haven't had a chance to use it yet, but I will.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:12, Reply)

I may get the chance tomorrow
I have said that I would put my head in the oven if it wasn't fucking electric as a joke before, which was followed by much concern and sincere enquiries about my mental health.

*rolls eyes*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:16, Reply)

it's only cos they care
although on reflection they might be concerned for your mental abilities if they thought you thought an electric oven would work...

/tired.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:22, Reply)

Meh
They don't care. I didn't even get a cost of living raise this year.

Fuck 'em:S
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:24, Reply)

there's nothing like workplace retorts.
example:

It's 7:37pm. An insufferable couple saunter into the theatre and present their tickets.

Insufferable couple: Oh, we're a bit late, it's all right to go in though isn't it.

Me: Well, you are a little bit late yes, so you'll have to go in at the back and wait until the interval to get to your booked seats. (they were on row B)

Insufferable couple: But it's only 7:35, and it says 7:30 on our tickets, we didn't think the show would start then.

Me: I bet you miss a lot of trains.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:16, Reply)

Arghh!
I hate people like these. Had enough of them then I did the fringe festival. They're lucky you're willing to let them in at all - I would never let them in when I was on duty at the venue.

Ahh, the feeling of small power...
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:52, Reply)

Have they ever considered sending you on a martial arts course instead?

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:17, Reply)

Oh thank christ I get paid to be mean
If I had to be fluffy and caring at work I'd never make it through the day.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Thu 21 May 2009, 20:22, Reply)

*nods sagely*
You came across as very polite and nice in person.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 21 May 2009, 20:22, Reply)

Aw, thanks
I am really, I just have extreme trouble dealing with idiots and I tend to wear my heart fairly much on my sleeve.

My reasoning being that if you don't point out they're cretins then they'll never change!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 21 May 2009, 21:03, Reply)