Drink a can of Red Bull
Then another. Then do it as fast as possible, and every time you finish an audit have a wank as a reward.

Failing that, find little errors in them that require you to get information off other people so you can ut it off and it all becomes their problem.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Sun 24 May 2009, 7:45, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Interesting
As it's Sunday, nobody important is here.

However, repeated masturbation in a busy 999 control room is never to be recommended.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Sun 24 May 2009, 7:47, Reply)

If nobody important is there
Then it's easy, you just find an excuse to speak to important person and claim the work can't be done until then.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Sun 24 May 2009, 7:55, Reply)

If it's Ambulance
I may have had a hand in your software (depending on what Trust it is).
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 24 May 2009, 9:09, Reply)

If you have
I will take you outside and burn you.

Have Gazzed you with details!
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Sun 24 May 2009, 9:13, Reply)

Oh dear God
Is this from CSC, Cerner, ATOS or Fujitsu?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sun 24 May 2009, 9:48, Reply)