Just thinking of you all beavering away at work brings a little smile to my face
I'm out on my balcony in very small shorts and a vest top, drinking beer, eating a chip butty and watching S4 of Prison Break. Life is good.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:10, 90 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How Kaoltarded is this post!
Have you not noticed how much we've posted on here today? You should be the one feeling silly, we're getting paid to surf the web.

Although I'm not allowed to wear tiny shorts.

Although, since I work alone, who would know?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:13, Reply)

We would know
You'd tell us.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:16, Reply)

You wouldn't want it
any other way.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Not enough, I need more, nothing seems to satisfy
I don't want it, I just need it
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:24, Reply)

Pictures!
oh, never mind
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:44, Reply)

I would say, poidh
But you'll only get this thread deleted too :-p
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:14, Reply)

*shrugs*
I'm getting paid to write shit on the internet and drink coffee.

I might even go crazy and get paid to eat peanuts in a little while.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:16, Reply)

Ahh but I have beer paid for out of your taxes
Cheers
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Taxes?
Oh well.
At least I don't have to worry about getting a UK visa.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:22, Reply)

I don't mind my taxes paying for stuff like beer
especially when it's for lovely people like becky.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:23, Reply)

ahem
lovely horrible
people things
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:25, Reply)

Aww thank you Al

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:25, Reply)

I kinda agree.
As dole-folk go, she's not bad.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:26, Reply)

She's got skills

(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:26, Reply)

What, like waitressing?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:26, Reply)

One of 'em.
Pure transferable, that is.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:27, Reply)

S'like bar work.
Not just anyone can pull a pint, or plonk a plate of spag bol on a table, you know.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:31, Reply)

HARD FACT.
Right there.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:31, Reply)

WE DON'T NEED DOCTORS OR ANY QUALIFIED PEOPLE
WHAT WE NEED IS PEOPLE TO WORK IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRIES.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:33, Reply)

I AGREE
have you seen some of the retards in our shops?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:36, Reply)

especially people who have qualifications
in bar tending, because that's not one of the easiest jobs there is.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:37, Reply)

It took me over
3 hours to learn how to pull a pint. It only took me half an hour to learn how to rip off the dickhead customers though.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:38, Reply)

had you never been in a pub before?
I already knew how to pour a pint, and this was in an inbred, backwater village, Devon pub. They are pretty particular about their pints.

with their stupid glasses with handles.

A punter once came in and asked if we had non-alcoholic beer, I checked and found bottles, but not in the fridge. He said he preferred it warm....

he got buried under the patio.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:41, Reply)

It didn't really take me that long

(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:45, Reply)

honest

(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:45, Reply)

I'm not some massive Kaoltard

(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:45, Reply)

I don't believe you
you are some kind of massive Kaoltard
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:48, Reply)

It's all true
I'm such a kaoltard.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:49, Reply)

That's not a skill
I did that for 18 months.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:28, Reply)

And I bet you looked very pretty in your pinny

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:29, Reply)

I once fell over a dog
and another time a tray fell off a chair and knocked me over so I hit my head on a table.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:30, Reply)

Did you get the visa though?

( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:31, Reply)

No
they wouldn't let me stay. So I came home and earned money here instead.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Exactly.
Hmmm...

*listens intently*

Is that the sound of a distant Accord, revving slowly?
( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:34, Reply)

I can hear something
going up and down the road outside my office.

I can see someone practising mad kung fu skillz too.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:36, Reply)

Listen carefully.
Put. The. Skag. Down.

Or you're in a world of trouble.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Fuck off hoogie

(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:38, Reply)

No, you fuck off,
Or you'll feel the terrible Justice Combo of metal and fist.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:40, Reply)

The ultimate one two knockout.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:42, Reply)

If you keep peddling these memes from out of nowhere
you'll sound like Piston.
( thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:43, Reply)

Shut up
No-one else in the whole world is that boring.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:43, Reply)

Except maybe Nigel Mansell.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:44, Reply)

Or kaol

(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:46, Reply)

*yawns at the thought*

( thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:54, Reply)

I dunno
there's a guy in my office....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:45, Reply)

He's being a bully though!
It's VALID.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:44, Reply)

KAOLTARD!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:44, Reply)

You know it, baby.
/mongfetish
( thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:54, Reply)

It's hard work
Being this awesome.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:58, Reply)

So you were the cabaret?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:31, Reply)

Pictures, as it did happen
Clicky, no nudity, but not pretty
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Bloody hell
I think I've had her.

YM, isn't it?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Removed the pic in case anyone bitches
It's now at the link
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:34, Reply)

I've got Vodka paid for
by hard work...

(Well, not right at this second, obviously. Right now I'm earning the vodka)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:24, Reply)

Hehe, you said 'beaver'.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:27, Reply)

on purpose of course

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:29, Reply)

Hurrah
My bravissimo underwear catalogue just arrived.

Pervs
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:34, Reply)

Ooooo
that means my mrs' will have arrived too.

And she's away this weekend.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Haha
why use up precious bandwith when you have a hard copy at home for free?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:40, Reply)

"hard copy"
hehe
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:41, Reply)

And look!
It falls open at the correct page!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:43, Reply)

It does the first time
after that the pages end up stuck together.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:44, Reply)

Careful now.
You might attract the attention of the /talk Fatties and Uglies Club, who will no doubt call you names!
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:41, Reply)

You should post more pictures of beans

(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:42, Reply)

Actually this is odd
this is a regular /talker joining in on an unrelated thread rather than starting a new trolling thread.

What's going on?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:44, Reply)

It's a slow day on /talk

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:45, Reply)

It was all go this morning
I got quite giddy at the speed at which baldmonkey posted shit.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:46, Reply)

They're missing Wormulus

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:47, Reply)

Did he flounce
After being banned?
( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:48, Reply)

Not sure
He posted something last night, but I don't know what
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:58, Reply)

I miss him too
Especially considering what day it is.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:48, Reply)

Go on,
Do it!
( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:49, Reply)

Is done

(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:56, Reply)

Yes it is.

( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:59, Reply)

It's my day
WOOOP WOOOOP
(beckyjsbx WOOP WOOP, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:59, Reply)

Hi Becky!

( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:01, Reply)

You know all the comedy accounts.
Do you know mine?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:03, Reply)

Is it beckyjsbx?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:04, Reply)

There should totally be a "BeckyJizzBox" account.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:05, Reply)

Some people think this is it
besides, I'm not well enough to have a comedy account made
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:06, Reply)

Yeah.
I'm glad you retired it though, Bert was never funny from the start.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:05, Reply)

I know
he was a bit shit wasn't he.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:08, Reply)

Yeah got old fast.
Kinda like Tom Hanks in that stupid film.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:09, Reply)

Hey, I am no troll!

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:02, Reply)

again?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:45, Reply)

I just had a wank while looking at your profile picture.
I'm not even kidding.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:49, Reply)

Well done
I'm sure you liked the cock on there
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:57, Reply)

I'm glad they have their own club
Their kind usually find it so hard to make friends.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:48, Reply)

Its the reason
you're so lonely.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:48, Reply)

I know
Being rejected from the Uglies and Fatties club just adds to the hurt.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:50, Reply)