A North London job centre plus will be receiving a flaming bag of shit by the end of the week
unless Belfast let me know that they've received my backdating dolemoney booklet that I spent an hour filling in 3 weeks ago and another hour today. They are cunts and cuntesses of the highest order.

As you were.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:39, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Get the shit from Al.
He's got loads.
( thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:44, Reply)

very true
I did a humongous shit this morning, wish I'd kept it now and seasoned it a little for them.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:45, Reply)

Do a post-bacon explosion expulsion.

( thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:48, Reply)

Your words make me tingle

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:50, Reply)

...
words
tongue
( Cawl, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:51, Reply)

tingle spunk in your mouth.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:52, Reply)

mouth
mum
( Cawl, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:53, Reply)

Button it, clunges.

( thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:56, Reply)

*uses clunge buttons*

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:01, Reply)

I can't. It's not explosion time for two weeks yet :(

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:53, Reply)

Hmmm...
QUICK!
To the TIME MACHINE!
( Cawl, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:54, Reply)

That reminds me
I must put Tuesday in my diary. There'd be an awful mess if I thought Tuesday didn't exist!
( Captain V, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Ooh yeh - HOT DATE

( thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:56, Reply)

DATE turd in a bag in the microwave
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:00, Reply)

I don't give a shit about my date
But thinking tomorrow was Wednesday would be confusing. Why my diary doesn't have Tuesdays in it is beyond me.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:03, Reply)

Did you buy it off a market stall?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:05, Reply)

He never gets a Cock Tuesday

( thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:06, Reply)

Oh poor love
everyone deserves a cock Tuesday
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Design flaw
it's Honda accord shaped and only kills petulant fuckers.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Anger Online,
How was your weekend?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:54, Reply)

Was good thanks
how was yours?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:56, Reply)

It was ok,
I got my face drawn on Saturday because I made the silly mistake of falling asleep at a party.

Also cheer up, your day could be worse you could be watching Piston do stand up tonight.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:57, Reply)

Are you going?

( Cawl, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:58, Reply)

I really want to go to that
just to heckle, maybe set him on fire...
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:59, Reply)

BK was very diplomatic
in the way he implied he was glad he was doing stand up on the same night as piston as at least he wouldn't be the worst one.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:01, Reply)

I can think of a million things I'd rather do.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:00, Reply)

Would you rather
Eat a maggot?
( Cawl, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:02, Reply)

Of course.
That isn't difficult and is a much nicer alternative.
Wouldn't you?
( thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:03, Reply)

I'm not going to suck you off

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:04, Reply)

Ha!
The truth hurts doesn't it kaoltard!
( Captain V, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:06, Reply)

God-dammit.

( Cawl, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:08, Reply)

That sig is fucking ace.
:)
( thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:19, Reply)

1. Gouge own eye out with spoon.
2. Gouge own eye out with fork.
etc.
( thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:02, Reply)

Gouge out own eye with SPORK!

YES!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:04, Reply)

I'm rather hoping someone will post a video of it on youtube for us all to see.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:05, Reply)

If I wasn't totally skint
I would drive up and film it for you all.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:09, Reply)

And set fire to him?
That's a deal breaker for me
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:11, Reply)

I agree
but only once he's finished and everyone is sitting in silence. Then run in and set him alight and then everyone will clap and cheer as he runs round screaming and setting fire to the curtains.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:15, Reply)

And everyone who needs a piss after downing 20 pints of beer
in order the numb the pain of the performance will suddenly develop extreme bladder control.
( thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:18, Reply)

oh
yeah I've stocked up on matches
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:19, Reply)

Then I demand that you go to wherever this place of stand up is and film him, then set light to him

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:23, Reply)