What the fucking fuck have you done with my friend Al? All this talk of sparkle and fabulousness is tantamount to a good thrashing in my book.
I'm NOT having a day of sparkle and fabulousness as I'm off college ILL.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:15, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well, you're amassive pathetic loser in all senses of the word
And there will be no bacon for you tomorrow.

NOW GO TO COLLEGE.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:16, Reply)

I feel very meh today
and I would appreciate your sympathy regarding this matter. I want none of your sparkle hugs and fluffyteims
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:20, Reply)

I hope you feel better
Get lots of rest, and don't eat too much or you won't have room in your tummy for BACON!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:32, Reply)

I shall be falling over with hunger as the cheesecake smells amazing
and there's ALWAYS room for bacon
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:41, Reply)

What kind of ill?
Have you been in contact with anyone who could have pig flu?

Have you been in contact with anyone who could have pig flu?

Have you been in contact with anyone who could have pig flu?
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:17, Reply)

*rolls eyes*
Look, I think that, as a fully qualified Lollipop man, I am much better at deciding whether your taking the piss.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:18, Reply)

Fuck off waitress

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:20, Reply)

Did you ever fall over a dog?
Well I did, and that means I'm perfectly capable of deciding whether I need open heart surgery or not.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:25, Reply)

I have actually and it hurt as I landed on it and then it bit me
bastard dog.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:27, Reply)

It's you're not your.
Ha! I've always wanted to do that.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:21, Reply)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Surely having my grammar corrected by BGB means I've hit a new low. And I'm pretty low at the best of times!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:24, Reply)

Hahaha!
I'm gonna give points to BGB for comic timing on this one.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:25, Reply)

*takes a bow*
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:30, Reply)

*applauds*

Very well done.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:30, Reply)

No
Grows agitated

Rolls eyes
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:19, Reply)

you obviously need some penicillin

(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:25, Reply)

Pfffft!

( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:26, Reply)

And I thought you were one of the nice ones
I'm disappointed in you HLT
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:28, Reply)

I am nice
didn't you discern my bland but caring tone?

or do I need to ask you three times?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:29, Reply)

*gets handbag*

OOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:31, Reply)

I think you'd better ask again to be sure

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:33, Reply)

all right
but if you don't come up with some olympic level whining I shall be most displeased
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:36, Reply)

Oh crap
I can but try
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:38, Reply)

you'd better
how else are we going to stop the pandemic?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:40, Reply)

doesnt wash hands

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Ahem
I feel soooooooooo meh and bah. There's nothing really seriously wrong, I just feel so floopy. I've been like this for more than three days now and all I can do is roll my eyes at it.

So I went to see my doctor, but Oh Em Gee, he wasn't there as my tax dollars are funding his trip to Brazil to seek out hookers with flesh eating diseases - they're mostly bacterial so nothing to worry about really.

I saw this locum and I could tell they were bad news as like everyone was coming out of there looking grumpy. Not that they looked amazing when they went in, but not one of them cracked a smile when they left. Me on the other hand, I think smiling's really important and I exercise this right to smile as often as I can. A smile on the face is the cornerstone to getting a visa and a well grounded economy.

Anyway, I couldn't believe the audacity this jumped up little locum had. He asked me THREE TIMES if I'd been in contact with anyone who's got a confirmed diagnosis of swine flu and I got so exasperated with him that I ROLLED MY EYES. I sure told him right? I mean Oh Em Gee. If he's not going to listen to me, then I'm not going to tell him that people all around me that I know and stuff have got it.

FINALLY after like 45 minutes of waiting I got a prescription for penicillin as he thinks I've got a cold or an infection and I left sticking my fingers up at that cunt and trailing bog roll behind me.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:52, Reply)

So like bow down before me bitches, or I'll phlegm on you

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:00, Reply)

I think that deserved to be posted somewhere
where it isn't buried beneath 100 rubbish replies.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:04, Reply)

I shall pearoast

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:09, Reply)

well, as a partly qualified trainee assistant struck-off cherry-putter-onner on the Cherry Bakewells bit at Mr Kipling
I can tell you that you have most definitely got the bacterial infection eye-rolling disease and that you need to go and sit in a dark room without any electricity for a couple of years or at least until you've grown a bit more skin so you won't get infected with virulent flu-bearing airborne disease virus wotchercallits.

and you can't have a visa either.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:04, Reply)

I always thought she was nice
but she was lying all this time. On the internet. I'll never trust the internet again.

And it's all hlt's fault.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:30, Reply)