Andy
Andy the scary smack dealer lives in a ground-floor apartment opposite. I don’t have too much of an issue with skag dealers as long as they don’t sell to children, but as his doorbell is borked, I do have an issue with the local junkies loudly banging on his window 24/7 going “Ahnnnndy” in their zombie nasal whine. I mean, my sleep is precious.

So do I:
a) Report him to the police, just to get some silence?
b) Send him a lovely letter, reminding him of the discretion required to successfully deal smack, and would he mind getting his doorbell fixed, there’s a good chap?
c) Start peddling myself and undercut the bastard?
( smokey bobinson westing by musket and sexton, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:48, 8 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

I choose d)
Pin him to the wall with your HONDA ACCORD!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:49, Reply)

if you shop him you won't have to undercut him and you can just poach all his trade without any trouble

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:49, Reply)

Sound advice
from 'Crackhouse' there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:17, Reply)

I know whatof I speak
*nods solemnly*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:47, Reply)

you could
buy him one of those battery operated stick-on doorbells, and leave it on his doorstep as an anonymous gift. But he'd probably sell it for drugs.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:51, Reply)

He could actually fit it
and post the ringer through the letter box.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:53, Reply)

i'm liking this
the street needs more fluffeh
( smokey bobinson westing by musket and sexton, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:55, Reply)

Report him. To Everyone.
That's what I did in the same situation. Some knuckle-dragging crack-dealing prick named JoJo moved into the middle floor of my block (I'm on the floor above - The Penthouse, don'cher know) a couple of years ago and the same shenanigans went on - dickheads shouting up to the window at all hours and kicking the main door in regularly etc. One disgruntled customer once took a dump on the middle landing, which was nice in a not-fucking-nice kind of way. Previous and subsequent tenants on the middle floor haven't been much better, resulting in my block being dubbed by me and those dear to me as the Shit Sandwich. Considering I was and am paying the best part of 500 notes per month to live there and this cunt and others like him somehow get it free from the council something had to give, and I decided that it was going to be him.

I reported him to the police, the council noise nuisance people, the building management company and his landlord. After a short time he got pissed off with the subsequent hassle and flitted in the night, taking most of the furniture from the once-furnished apartment with him and trashing the rest. I knew where he went though, and took some satisfaction in telling his extremely pissed-off ex-landlord precisely where he was. I heard he was put away for criminal damage, oh and supplying controlled substances of course. Good riddance. Prick.

He was one of three individuals I've had ushered out of the place to restore the peace that I pay through the fucking nose for. Still, I'm moving with the new fella to a place that has more space, less chav fleshwastes and an ensuite in about six weeks, so it has a happy ending, at least for me.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:19, Reply)