Bastards
well, my lovely employers have managed to fuck up my pay again this month - that's 2 months in a row now - despite repeated assurances from them that there would be NO problem this time, after all who'd make the same error 2 months in a row? Their excuse? 'we employ a lot of people, so we are bound to make mistakes quite often'.

Or maybe they should just learn to GET IT RIGHT occasionally?! after all, this is an institution which has been around for 800 years, a fact that they have proudly emblazoned all over the town.

And I can't even resort to drink, as it's kind of frowned upon in heavily pregnant folk.

fuckers.

any suggestions on how to a) make myself feel better, and b) exact some petty revenge?
( ascorbate, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:03, 30 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Give birth on their desk
you're highly likely to shit yourself during the birth, and that will leave a nasty stain.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:06, Reply)

Not the point, but surely they could do a bacs transfer for the rest of the money within 24 hours?
As for revenge, take a dump on all of their desks
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:09, Reply)

My idea was better
It's bad enough finding shit on your desk, but finding placenta and shit, that's really gonna fuck up your day.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:13, Reply)

But this is shit on EVERY desk, not just one
that's worse than your placenta and shit on just one desk. She's said it's a large company, so might require some backup to get enough faecal matter there.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:24, Reply)

Ooooo I like your style.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:35, Reply)

That's the spirit, now get smearing, we've a lot of desks to defile

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:39, Reply)

shit your baby out on the bosses desk

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:20, Reply)

Why don't people bother READING the earlier replies
it makes me so ANGRY I USE CAPITALS and sometimes I use CAPITALS AND BOLD.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:22, Reply)

PERHAPS your reply wasn't there WHEN I posted
eh?

TAKE your caps and SHOVE it up your COCK.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:29, Reply)

Maybe I will!
Or maybe I'll take my COCK and CAPS it up your SHOVE, eh! EH! Bet you didn't think of that did you!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:35, Reply)

I'm going to learn spanish just so I can CUSS YOU THE FUCK OUT in a foreign language
PUTA
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:38, Reply)

I'm going to learn English
so I can be really fucking polite and wait in queues and have bad teeth.

But at least I won't be MORBIDLY OBESE!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:45, Reply)

oh, getting personal now, eh? EH?!

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:46, Reply)

It was probably irony, but you didn't understand it with your big yankee war mongering brain.


yes I know it wasn't irony, I was just making a cheap joke
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:49, Reply)

I'd give you a lengthy reply but I've gotta go eat dinner.
tata
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:51, Reply)

toodles
*air kisses*
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:52, Reply)

Although
I do not approve of Al approach in telling you to read the previous post, it should be noted that Al's reply was posted 14 minutes before yours. Therefore I think he has a legitimate reason to advise you to read other posts first.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:49, Reply)

Oh please don't start being all teachery and sensible
We were having a really good argument here.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:52, Reply)

I was just
stating the facts.

Carry on calling each other cunts all day long for all I care!

I've had to break up too many fights today already.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:55, Reply)

*sounds the 'taking the internet too seriously' alarm*

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:03, Reply)

DONT PANIC!!!!!
DON'T PANIC!!!!!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:04, Reply)

*stops*

*drops*

*rolls*
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:23, Reply)

thanks for that

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:52, Reply)

Leave it kristine
she ain't wurf it!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:59, Reply)

Crap in the comfort of your own home
then have it fedex-ed to your boss's desk, claiming the cost of fedexing from your works petty cash
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:46, Reply)

But then he'll know for sure who it was
although the placenta might have given it away if it was sliding around his desk.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:51, Reply)

there is a gap between knowing and proving
a big one
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:53, Reply)

Given that she's likely the only pregnant woman there at this time, it wouldn't take a genius to work it out
if she suddenly left to give birth. Would be very entertaining to stand there and say prove it's mine though
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:57, Reply)

get a water balloon
Grip it gently between your thighs (I'm assuming a dress here).

Wander into a senior office and say, "I think I need to go..." and pop the balloon.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:08, Reply)

But fill it with some slime as well, so that the person who has to clean it up slips on it.
GENIUS idea
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:17, Reply)