beards and beard-wearing gentlemen
and lightning

people would have to pray to me to promote healthy beard growth. or to stop it.

sometimes I'd make people have uncontrollable beard growth and if they shaved it off I'd hit them with lightning
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 14:14, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*sacrifices goat*
For healthy beard growth.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 14:21, Reply)

I would like to offer up a prayer
For the girl I saw yesterday, who had quite a bit of beard hair underneath her chinny chin chin.

Dear God Of Beards, please look kindly on this poor 17 year old, and get rid of her beard and sideburns, unless of course she plans on a career in a sideshow, in which case let her beard grow long and free and curly.
Amen.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 14:24, Reply)

I would totally prostrate myself before you every day.
Mrs al made comment as to her dislike of my existing beard on Saturday. She did not look pleased when I explained that my current beard project was the passing of a complete calendar year without shaving or trimming it.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 14:28, Reply)

show her my picture
and tell her that you aspire to be like me.

or get that picture of Phil Collins where he looks like God. it's in the Name that Beard game on here somewhere.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 14:40, Reply)