Please form an orderly line
and present your passport before entering this thread.

Do you have the right to post in the UK?
Do you have the right to post in the UK?
Do you have the right to post in the UK?

What skills do you have to contribute to the thread?
What skills do you have to contribute to the thread?
What skills do you have to contribute to the thread?

Have you ever fallen over a dog?
Have you ever fallen over a dog?
Have you ever fallen over a dog?

Has a dog ever got lost in your massive vagina?
Has a dog ever got lost in your massive vagina?
Has a dog ever got lost in your massive vagina?

Have you ever drained all the blood out of a dog?
Have you ever drained all the blood out of a dog?
Have you ever drained all the blood out of a dog?

Subject to satisfactory answers, I would like to welcome you to OT
(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 9:58, 91 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Er...
Yeah.

I'm awesome.

Yes.

No.

Yes.
( Cawl, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:00, Reply)

Since you ask
Yes
I'm not sharing that kind of information with you until I know what you're going to do with it
Yes
No
Yes

Did I pass the test?
(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Yes
I will need your skills list though.
(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:11, Reply)

I'll gaz you

(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:12, Reply)

In triplicate please

(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:13, Reply)

Errrrrr
Yes
Former waitress, current owner of a fantastic meat puppet...or does it own me?
Yes
Not that I'm aware of
Yes
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:03, Reply)

Well
Yes.
I've been told I have a great looking arse in tight jeans.
Yes.
Nope.
Nope, but I did do that to a rabbit!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:05, Reply)

Vomits a little

(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:07, Reply)

If you are let in
do you promise never to mention your arse again?
(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:11, Reply)

Pah
You are just jealous.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:26, Reply)

this is SHIT.
why would you type this shit out 3times?
(La Peste C'est l'heure pour la viande, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:06, Reply)

Because you clearly weren't listening the first time you fucking mong

(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:08, Reply)

i fucking was
i can read.
(La Peste C'est l'heure pour la viande, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:10, Reply)

But haven't mastered
the shift key yet.
(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Don't let them in, they're clearly shit
And FRENCH
(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:13, Reply)

how about
YOU are a CUNT
thats shifted
(La Peste C'est l'heure pour la viande, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:14, Reply)

No forriners
You will be deported soon.
(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:15, Reply)

You're clearly shit.
Why don't you fuck off?
( Cawl, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:16, Reply)

Do we have to answer in triplicate?
Yes
Mad Skillz
No
No
No


Doesn't bode well
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Mad Skillz
Are good enough to be allowed in on a visitor pass
(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:25, Reply)

Yesssssssss
How long do I have?
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:57, Reply)

Fuck Off.
I have a British passport and I'll go where I please.
Go bother some real immigrants you fascist.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:08, Reply)

I'm afrad I'm going to have to ask you
to step in to my office
(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:09, Reply)

This is fucking illegal you bastards
Get your fucking hands off me. I'm ENGERLISH!!!!
You're going to search my what? Not without my lawyer present!
What are you doing get o.......
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:14, Reply)

Hold still
it will hurt less.
(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:16, Reply)

INCORRECT PRONUNCIATION OF ENGLISH, SCREAMING FOR A LAWYER LIKE A FUCKING GIRL
WOULD YOU PREFER LUBED OR UNLUBED UK IMMIGRATION OFFICE?
(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:34, Reply)

Unlubed
I won't tolerate screaming for a laywer on my watch
(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:35, Reply)

VERY GOOD SIR
YOU MIGHT WANT TO REMOVE THAT WATCH THOUGH, ANAL TEARING IN ONE SO OLD IS QUITE HORRIFIC TO SEE
(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:37, Reply)

It wasn't for legal purposes.
He just likes that kind of thing.
Mind you take your watch off.
Wouldn't want it lost up there.
I normally have to pay for this.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:37, Reply)

I lost my watch already this week

(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:39, Reply)

Lets see.
Yes.

Attention Whore, the fact that I'm a REAL GIRL on the INTERNET. Oh, and I have Mad Waitressing Skillz

Yes, but not fully.

Not that I'm aware.

No.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:08, Reply)

a girl?
Are you well sexy? Lol.
(La Peste C'est l'heure pour la viande, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:09, Reply)

brilliant,
more of this sort of thing.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:10, Reply)

You realise your sig is the only thing saving you from badly-typed pandering?

( Cawl, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:17, Reply)

it's the hour for the meat?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Fuck off.
No pandering til you get rid of your L plates.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:14, Reply)

You're willing to miss out on a whole week of his charm?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:16, Reply)

Quite happily.
I might even stick him on ignore.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:18, Reply)

Am I gona have to fire up the pandatron?

( Cawl, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:19, Reply)

Oh Kaol,
You know I can't resist a man in a cowboy hat.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:20, Reply)

I know you have a terrible internet crush on me.
I meant at that fucker.
( Cawl, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Doesn't everyone?
And please, fire away.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:24, Reply)

Maybe.
We'll see how the situation develops.
There's a fuck-load of new posters on today.
( Cawl, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:29, Reply)

I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON HER
I THINK SHE'S A SLUT, BUT NOT THE GOOD KIND
(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:30, Reply)

sluts are always good lol

(La Peste C'est l'heure pour la viande, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:35, Reply)

SHE'S ALL YOURS SHITCUNT

(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:37, Reply)

Have you got a broken capslock,
Retard?
You know what the shift button does, right?
IT STOPS YOU BEING SHIT.
( Cawl, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Kaol,
angry, online.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Nah.
No more than usual.
Just sick of all these retards.
( Cawl, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:41, Reply)

Kaol
I would like to see your papers
(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:42, Reply)

They're not retards,
they're just regulars trying to get a reaction.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:43, Reply)

I dunno,
A lot of the regulars ARE retards.
( Cawl, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:47, Reply)

I'M ANGRY ONLINE. ON THE INTERNET. THIS IS HOW I EXPRESS IT
BE A LOVE AND GO SUCK A GOAT
(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:45, Reply)

its not Lplates
more like when you get you're driving lisence taken away for being drunk, then get it back
(La Peste C'est l'heure pour la viande, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:18, Reply)

Nice spelling you spastic

(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:19, Reply)

who are you the spelling police?

(La Peste C'est l'heure pour la viande, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:20, Reply)

HAHAHA
What are you, five?
(MoistTickle we are legion, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:22, Reply)

If you are five
I am going to have to ask you to fuck off. No kids allowed
(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:24, Reply)

you wish i was 5 you peedo

(La Peste C'est l'heure pour la viande, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:25, Reply)

You
Still can't spell though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:29, Reply)

spelling isnt inportant when your a geneus

(La Peste C'est l'heure pour la viande, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:36, Reply)

Trust me
It helps a lot in the real world, and on the internet as well.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Shame you're not though.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:40, Reply)

dont you want 2 get too know me first?

(La Peste C'est l'heure pour la viande, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:44, Reply)

No
DEPORTED
(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:46, Reply)

Only if
You learn to spell, and stop being a twit!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:56, Reply)

WHAT DID YOU FUCKING SAY TO MY WOMAN YOU FUCKING CUNT?
I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING BALLS OFF AND FEED THEM TO MY HONDA ACCORD
(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:30, Reply)

wow
i'm real sory.
i didnt no man
(La Peste C'est l'heure pour la viande, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:34, Reply)

YOU FUCKING WILL BE YOU SCROTELESS WONDER

(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Oh god, it gets me so hot when you defend my honour.
*rubs self, online*
(MoistTickle we are legion, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:42, Reply)

Please don't get
your lady juice on the Immigration Office chairs
(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:43, Reply)

LICK IT UP BITCH
'SNOT FISHY, ITS NECTAR
(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Oh no
Not doing well is he/she/it
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:31, Reply)

You can't help being foreign and a spastic
tickles under the chin and kicks firmly in the balls
(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:24, Reply)

Still makes you a cunt though,
Doesn't it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:21, Reply)

dont get angry please

(La Peste C'est l'heure pour la viande, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:26, Reply)

*jostles in queue*
I pay enough taxes

Acerbic ranting

Yep, piss-poor nightclub lighting for you

Who are you calling a massive vagina?

Not knowingly
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:11, Reply)

*rolls eyes*

(MoistTickle we are legion, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Also:
Yes
My firm, young, and pert breasts, as well as the fact that I used to be a lesbian until I met a man twice my age on the internet
Once, when I was waitressing
No, my Vagina is tight like a tube of smarties
Once, but it was only for a satanic ritual.
(MoistTickle we are legion, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:14, Reply)

I used to be a lesbian until I met a man twice my age on the internet
SO JUST WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU LAST WEEK? WE HAD AN ARRANGEMENT YOU FUCKING WHORE.

ANGRY IN CAPITALS
(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:19, Reply)

I was there.
You just didn't see me.
(MoistTickle we are legion, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:22, Reply)

LIES ON THE INTERNET
FUCKING WHOPPERS
(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Mmmmm whoppers

(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:32, Reply)

*presents large leatherbound tome*
yes
I have a formidable beard
a dog has knocked me over by running into my legs while I was stationary, does that count?
no
not all of it, no
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Applicant: The Supreme Crow
Yes. I have a couple of first-class stamps in my wallet.

Impeccable spelling, punctuation and grammar, plus a penchant for atrocious puns and a level of pedantry that would make your arse bleed.

Probably. I think I have also been mistaken for one by a member of my family.

I don't have a massive vagina, _{just a laughably small willy} however some think I am just an enormous cunt. I have not lost a dog in myself.

No. That's just weird.

Now let me in, bitch!
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Me please.
Yes.
I can fly a plane, heal the sick and provide unsolicited cock-shots to any female within striking distance.
No, my ninja-like reflexes allow me to maintain my balance at all times.
I do not have a vagina, I have an enormous penis. Would you like to see?
I once drained all the blood from a dog to provide a transfusion from a dying child - not only did he make a full recovery, but his leg grew back! And the dog didn't die either. I'm that good.
(Edmund has no idea what you mean, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:49, Reply)

Wow
Not only are you allowed in but also crowned Saviour of the World and Empire of OT
(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:51, Reply)

It's only right and proper
for one of my stature.
(Edmund has no idea what you mean, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:54, Reply)

Show me proof of this. For I have a raging hard on right now, but cannot spluff until I see the evidence

(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Proof? PROOF?
My word is my bond, sir.

Don't make me call you out.
(Edmund has no idea what you mean, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:59, Reply)

Oh don't make me kick your arse back to the South Pole
Last time I did I damaged one of your testicles and it's never been right since.

HAS IT?
HAS IT?
HAS IT?
(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:05, Reply)